Hello! Remember me? I’m the one-armed lady that now has a limp to add to her list of ailments. Getting old is grrrrrrreat 🙄 I’m still here, healing away in the background, but thought it was time I put pen to paper (fingertips to MacBook) and give those of you that have kindly still stuck around an update of what’s been going on.
So, I’m still a bit broken, but not as much as I was, and that is a massive win. I went to the hospital this week for my second x-ray and it’s fantastic news. The doctor said I’m healing faster than anticipated, there is a lot of new bone growth and when I looked at the x-ray, it looks as if the bone is nearly all back together. It’s definitely not, because I still can’t move my arm a great deal without a lot of pain, but I can see the massive progress I have made and therefore thought it would be a good idea to cry at my consultant. They were tears of happiness and relief though, and he wasn’t phased in the slightest, no doubt used to people crying in his tiny little office.
Having to live with bad hairstyles:
But then get everything fixed at the hairdresser!
I still have to wear this clunky arm brace for at least two more months, which really does nothing for my summer wardrobe, but I am allowed to take it off for showers now. The only issue with that is that I can’t take it off and put it back on on my own and because it’s quite a convoluted brace, it’s not something I can really ask Dexter to do. So I think if any poor unsuspecting soul comes to my door to try and sell me God or some new guttering, I’m running upstairs for a shower while they’re here and they can help me put the brace back on, whether they like it or not. It’s what Jehovah would have wanted.
(I also have a new leg issue that I’m seeing the doctor about and he’s given me some anti-inflammatories to try and sort that out – I’m thinking perhaps it’s just referred pain but I’m quickly running out of limbs!)
So that’s the health update really. I start physio next week and, from what I gather, it’s going to be a very painful, but very necessary process. Luckily, my physio is at my local gym and I can just about walk there on my own because, as wonderfully helpful as all of my family are, I still hate asking for lifts anywhere. Taxis are bankrupting me so if I can walk/limp somewhere, I will.
I’m obviously still not back at work. It’s quite an arduous drive to my new job, battling a notoriously busy motorway with associated moronic drivers, and I just don’t have enough mobility or strength in my arm yet, so I still don’t know when I will be able to go back. Which is a bit of a nuisance, bearing in mind I’m only on SSP. So funds are tight and it certainly isn’t a case of me not wanting to go back to work. But what can you do? Certainly times like this that I wish I had taken out some sort of insurance policy but no point complaining. (Which is exactly what I’m doing now, the irony.)
Weight wise, for those of you that used to follow my Slimming World updates, I’ve put some weight on since I’ve been off work and not able to exercise, but not a great deal and it honestly doesn’t bother me. It’s the least of my problems. This injury has definitely given me perspective and healing a broken bone has definitely taken precedence over losing weight and my focus is, and has been, solely on fixing that. As I mentioned before, I’ve had to cancel my gym membership but I do need to give some thought to what I can start to do going forward. I thought about how I would feel getting back on my bike and decided that scared is probably how I would feel, and that really is my overriding feeling about most things at the moment.
Even walking to Tescos. There is a patch of broken pavement on the other side of the zebra crossing outside the shop and even though I’m aware of it, I see every day, I’m still paranoid that somehow, in the flattest of my flat shoes, I’m going to trip and re-break my arm again. And I live with that feeling wherever I go, even when I’m at home. Will I somehow trip on the rug that’s by the front door? Will a cushion jump off the sofa and try and trip me up? Does that extra long patch of grass hide a massive pothole that I will fall down? Sounds ridiculous but I have a newfound fear of everything that I need to work hard to overcome, because living scared is not something I’m prepared to do.
That whole ‘being scared of grass’ thing aside, my emotions feel quite balanced at the moment. I posted a photo on Instagram yesterday (do come and follow me over there because I post on Instagram Stories most days), and the woman staring back at me in this photo was 100% legit my mum. And she/I (OK, I know this is getting weird) looked at peace. Which is a big thing when you’ve been through quite a few traumatic things in your life. And that’s how I feel at the moment. I am back in therapy and maybe that’s why I feel quite calm at the moment, because everyone needs someone to talk to don’t they?
As for my love life (hahahahahahaha, sorry) … but after the disappointment that was Dobby who, by the way, had the absolute nerve to send me a text a week after our second date and the subsequent changing his Tinder bio/ghosting me all week thing, well, suffice to say I haven’t bothered since. Internet dating takes a lot of energy and I have none to spare so I will have the occasional swipe out of boredom, but I’m not talking to anyone at the moment. To be honest, I just don’t feel very sexy. It’s very hard to feel sexy with a big black arm brace on, but I did finally manage to get my bra on for the first time last week and both straps up for the first time yesterday, so this progress has meant that I can hopefully start to wear non-elasticated clothes soon! And that will be a glorious day.
So that’s my little life update. I feel like I’m slowly coming out of hibernation and I’m looking forward to joining the real world again soon. Thanks for sticking with/by me.