This is a post I didn’t really want to have to write but it’s important I do. And I know it’s not a massive deal really, not in the scheme of things, but I have to recognise what has happened otherwise nothing will change.
I’m a greedy twat and I’ve put 9lbs on.
In a month.
So just over 2lbs a week.
*slow hand clap*
FML. How have I done that? Very bloody easily it seems.
So, this blog post isn’t a warning to you all per se, because we all know how easy it is to put weight on, but it’s really just a ‘kick up the bum’ post for me. A KUTB if you will. (I will, thanks.)
It started when I hurt my back a month ago and had to stop going to the gym. Had to stop doing anything really because I was in so much pain. It started randomly in a shoulder blade, then travelled down to my lower back, then down my right leg, my left groin and well … I’ve been in agony. I’ve had physio, which only temporarily worked, and cost me an arm and a leg (my good leg), I asked to be referred for an ultrasound for kidney/gallstones … my doctor pretty much laughed me out of his office and I never did get referred, and I’ve only been able to work from my Boffice (my bed/office) or a very hard backed chair. So, to summarise, it’s been shit.
I lost my routine. I was going to the gym 4-5 times a week. My diet had slipped a little but it was pretty much all balanced out because I was working out so much. But more importantly, my head was in the right space. But since I hurt my back, which I think was probably sciatica in hindsight, I’ve been bloody miserable. And I’m an emotional eater … I eat crap when I’m miserable, which in turn makes me feel even worse, and so on and so on. Sound familiar?
I started to feel bloated. I didn’t feel slim anymore – I know I wasn’t slim, but I felt good. I had to go up a notch on my belt. I was living in pyjamas and didn’t notice the weight go back on. I stopped bothering with make-up, stopped going out, stopped dating.
Anyway, the upshot is that a week ago, I suddenly felt better. I feel stiff in my joints which tells me I need to get back to Pilates, and, on researching, also tells me I’m potentially about to go through the menopause, but that’s a whole other post .. but the pain had gone as quickly as it came. I still get an occasional twinge my right bum cheek (nice) but overall, I’m back to normal. And of course, petrified that I’m going to injure myself at the gym so I’m taking it really carefully.
I’ve eaten Doritos, sweets, cream cakes. Gone out for a couple of meals, had KFC, cut right down on eating fruit and vegetables. I’ve become 2015 Kate.
I’m so frustrated with myself because I really do know better and I’ve basically just been a big, fat, Dorito eating vegetable this last month. Thank GOD I’ve nipped it in the bud now because at this rate, look how easily I could have put ALL the weight I’ve lost back on. How scary is that?
My battle with my weight is clearly going to be a lifelong thing. Bit depressing, but there you go. I recognise and acknowledge that. I’m hoping that if I just go back to basics, the weight should start to come off again. I went to the gym yesterday, and although I’ve got a manic week at work ahead, including two hospital appointments, I’m going to find time to make sure I go to the gym most days.
I’M SO ANNOYED!
It’s funny though but even just going to the gym once yesterday, weighing myself and seeing where I’m at, I feel so much better today. I feel like I’m in control again. YES! That’s it! I’ve felt like things were out of my control, so I’VE felt out of control, so I’ve eaten like an out of control Haribo eating maniac!
I’m writing this and I just know I’m not alone. I know a lot of you can relate to what I’m saying because I’m just a normal actual human woman person, just like you, and if I’ve found it incredibly easy to put this weight on in a short amount of time, I know I won’t be the only one. But what seems to be important, is recognising the problem and taking control – like with all aspects of our lives I guess.
So here I am. Just a woman, standing (sitting) in front of a computer, asking to be slapped around the face with a wet fish because I’ve fallen off the wagon. But it stops here.