Do you remember me writing recently about some awful messages I’d received from dating websites? And oh, how we all laughed … and just presumed it couldn’t get any worse? Well I’m back, with another, ‘More moronic dating messages’ blog post. Hurrah for you, because it’s kinda funny. Boo for me because obviously, this means I’m still single.


Let’s kick off with this:


dating message


I’m a little confused. Does he want ME to wear a little black dress? Or does he want to take a photo of me whilst HE’S wearing a little black dress? Either way, it’s a no from me you absolute freak.


Next up we have this charming message:


dating message



What a generous gesture right?! To offer to ‘inspect’ my breasts. How utterly delightful. Why bother saying hello these days, when you can just get right down to business and comment on my breast size. Brilliant. Also, note his tagline. I’m going to presume he’s talking about himself.


This one is so romantic, I can’t even …


dating messages



Hands up, who doesn’t want to be covered in spubk? What even is spubk? On a serious note, saying I’m a MILF isn’t a compliment, and yet men continue to bandy that phrase about on dating sites like it’s going out of fashion. Well I’ll tell you now ladz, it never WAS in fashion, so stop saying it.


And I’m going to end on this one. Wow.


dating messages


I admire him you know, because that’s clearly his jam (although not mine), and he was at least respectful, but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD … what is it about my face that makes all the weirdos message me? Is it some aura I’m giving out that I don’t realise? I swear to God, my profile photos are all perfectly normal. There’s barely any cleavage on show, let alone anything else (ewww) and yet still, every day, I’m sent such odd messages. Answers on a postcard.


Suffice to say, I haven’t dated for a good few weeks now. I think I had a good run (dating ‘successfully’ for more than one week is considered a ‘good run’), and I especially had some wonderful dates with one particular guy, about 5 day/overnight/day type dates, which unfortunately have now stopped because he turned out to be a massive twat. But hey ho, you have to take the rough with the smooth when it comes to dating and my heart is still intact … well, as intact as it ever will be. And so onwards. Again. 


kate sutton

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Published by Kate Sutton

Writer, Mother, Dater.

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    1. Hey Emma, I know we’ve spoken about this, and I do get your point. And he was respectful at least. BUT why should that be the first message he sends, one of a sexual nature, and surely if one has particular proclivities, why not go on a niche sex site, rather than a traditional dating site? I take exception to men talking about sex in an introductory message I guess.

  1. At the same time these guys are sending such revolting messages (with the exception of Joe who was quite respectful in his message, despite it not being everyone’s thing!), they are all probably being morally outraged by the stories coming out in the press re Weinstein. It makes me so angry. I’m really sorry you are being subjected to such revolting people.
    blondeonthemove recently posted..Hairdressing Adventures in DubaiMy Profile

    1. Joe was respectful BUT my point is that that was a first message. No trying to get to know me. If you have particular sexual tastes I think you should be on a niche sex site tbh, not a generic dating site. And I get a lot of messages like that, so it gets a little tiring. But yes, at least he was polite 🙂 And thank you, I have a thick skin, but I shouldn’t have to have one – I’d never speak to men the way I’m spoken to.

  2. Oh dear Lord, you were right, I didn’t think it could get any worse, but you’ve proven me wrong! With regard to old ’36d in need of an inspection’ guy – his tagline is totally a ‘That’s what she said’ opportunity waiting to happen! Your perseverance will pay off!

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