I’m a huge believer in positive thinking. Apart from when the black dog descends and I’m a bit of a mess. But apart from that … generally … I’m a glass is half full kinda gal. Always have been. But as life gets more stressful, and I find myself getting more anxious as I get older, sometimes it’s not that easy to be positive.
The simplest of tasks can become mountains to climb. Some days, getting out of bed can seem impossible, let alone getting to the gym, but I have found that talking to myself around the house like an absolute lunatic, is great for giving myself the kick up the bum I need. So I thought I’d share with you some affirmations I say to myself daily to give myself the boost I need when there’s no-one else to do it for me. Because no-one loves me … #WoeIsMe etc.
Granted, I’ve always been a bit of a hippy at heart. A romantic soul. But I like to think that you know that (generally), I’m a perfectly normal person, just like you, so please read this post with an open mind and heart.
Disclaimer: I know these make me sound like I’m high, I’m not. Unless caffeine counts. And you will feel a little silly saying them to start with, but say them every day and you’ll be surprised by how ingrained they become. They will start to drown out the negative voices we, particularly as women, have in our heads. Those voices that say we’re no good. That we’re too fat. That we’re rubbish. That we can’t do things. This is just my little way of trying to fight back.
1. I am fantastic!
This is a new one, and one that was suggested to me by a lovely reader of this blog. She knows who she is so I probably shouldn’t name her, but she said that she and her sisters say this to themselves every day, three times, one after another, and you know what? It really works. Try it now. Go on. No-one’s listening. I bet you end up smiling just a little afterwards. Personally, I can’t bear the thought of looking in the mirror and actually saying it whilst looking at myself, but if that works for you, go for it. I just try not to think about it too much. If I’m at home, I’ll say it out loud as I do the cleaning, but equally, if I’m in M&S café, like now, I’ll just say it in my head. Both ways work.
2. Come on Kate, you’ve got this!
If I’m doubting myself, particularly when it comes to work, this is my go-to phrase. I think this particularly strikes home because I don’t have a partner, and this is something perhaps a partner might say to you if you’re doubting your own ability. And because I don’t have that, I have to do it for myself. I say it over and over again until I’ve hyped myself up enough to get through whatever it is I’m facing.
3. I am safe
This is one that is very personal to me and perhaps not something most of you (hopefully) would need, but after living scared for years, this is one I turn to if I’ve had news of my ex, or I’ve been triggered in some way. It reminds me that I’m safe, I’m OK, I’m secure, that no-one can hurt me, and although, thankfully, I don’t have to use it often, it’s there for when I do. It’s amazing the power that just those three words can have.
4. Today is going to be a good day
This sounds rather twee saying it out loud. It’s a bit ‘motivational quote you’d find on Instagram’ ish isn’t it? But if I’m in bed, and struggling to get the day started, I like saying this affirmation because it reminds me that every day has the potential to be a good day. Not every day turns out to be good, but it’s almost like you’re setting yourself up for success by saying it.
5. I deserve the best
Now I’ve used this one a lot, especially when it comes to men. When I’ve felt myself being treated in a way that I don’t feel I deserve. If I feel I’m being taken for granted, or if I feel someone doesn’t appreciate my worth, this is what I say. Except, I’ll be honest, I’m not very good at it. In principle, I should have a ‘no bullshit’ policy, but I’m human, and fallible, and not always as strong as I like to think I am or I should be. And even though I say this mantra to myself, I don’t always act on it. But I’m working on it.
Anyway, I think five affirmations/mantras is enough for anyone to get on with, and I hope it’s just a little food for thought if nothing else. I know most of you have at least one negative thing you say to yourself over and over again, it becomes ingrained in you doesn’t it? So maybe have a think, and find something that suits your situation. It’s about being proactive I think, and making things better for ourselves if we can.
Lots of love as always.