It … is … too … hot … to … type … anything …
Sorry I didn’t write this post yesterday but honestly, I’m not one to moan … ahem … but I was hotter than the actual sun yesterday. I came home from camping and laid on the grass for the rest of the day. My only break was to go to the freezer for Maxibons. But more of that in a minute.
(Maxibons – my current drug of choice.)
I’ve just come back from Bluewater where I’ve been quoted £400 to fix my laptop so suffice to say, I’m not in the best of moods. BUT, I’ve also just found out that I’ve made the finals of BritMums’ Brilliance in Blogging Awards – Social Media category. So that’s kinda nice. I am/have already put a link on FB in case you’d like to vote for me (although the whole asking for votes thing does really cringe me out, but I’ll ask once and then leave you in peace.)
Last week started out with an eyebrow tint, better than the previous week’s smear test anyway, and on Tuesday I had my first PT session at my gym. Oh my Jesus. I like to think I’m relatively fit. I mean I go to the gym enough right? But my new PT, Craig, set up a circuit for me and made me do two rounds of it, followed by a boxing session. I can’t begin to tell you how hard I found it. I’ve never done a burpee in my life, but Craig thought it would be ‘fun’ if I did a burpee, followed by picking up and slamming on the floor a massive ball. FYI, it wasn’t fun Craig, it wasn’t fun at all. I did press-ups, standing on a box on one leg holding a weight, Russian twists with a medicine ball and quite frankly, I think I’ve probably blanked out the other (gym-related) things he made me do. It was so hard. To be fair, I probably did better than I thought I’d do when I first looked at the circuit, but it’s a completely different way of working out. In hindsight, I was glad to be pushed, not at the time mind you.
(Looks tame. Wasn’t.)
You know me, I do like a challenge, and this really was a challenge. I’m going to do a few more sessions with him, so I’m hoping it’s going to get easier. Ha. Right. Course it is Kate.
I went to Pilates, I got my nails done, and I had a date with my man-friend on Thursday. And if you follow me on social media, you’ll all know what he looks like now! Don’t know why I was so worried posting a picture of us, you’ve all been incredibly lovely, so thank you. I don’t have the greatest relationship history so, just like with my weight-loss, I take each week as it comes and well, I’m still happy, so I was happy to share that photo.
This isn’t sponsored, but we went to a restaurant in the back of beyond called The Mulberry Tree. Looked a bit nondescript when we rocked up, completely silent, and we umm’ed and aah’ed about whether to go in, but I had a near-death experience on the country roads beforehand and I needed a gin. It was such a beautiful place, and the weather was great, so we ate outside (fish and chips … I know, I know). So if you’re near(ish) to Maidstone, although it’s in the proper countryside, I can highly recommend it. But yeah, like a complete knobhead, I didn’t exactly go for the low-fat option for dinner. It was totally worth it though, it was wonderful.
I did also make some good food choices during the week though so again, like I said last week, I’m trying hard to balance things as much as I can.
I’m in a very weird headspace at the moment, and I think it goes some way to explain why I’m not 100% focused on my diet at the moment. Don’t get me wrong, on the whole, things are good. Great in some areas. But there’s something going on with my ex that I’m having to deal with and I really bloody resent it. I tried to explain it to my best friend today on a rare Primark shopping trip together. I have only so much headspace, and I apportion a certain amount to each area of my life, like I’m sure we all do. So most of the time, as long as things tick along like they should, I’m all good. I have the children compartment. The work one. My Dad. The house. My health. The gym. Food. And now a boyfriend one. All good. I can manage. But then when one thing comes along that I have to deal with, but really don’t want to deal with, I struggle. And because there’s only so much space up there *taps head*, something else suffers. What makes it worse is that this is my ex! I’m not even with him, haven’t been for five years, and STILL he’s managing to wreak havoc in my life. Not that anyone would be able to tell, I’m the proverbial swan above water, but when I should be concentrating on cooking healthy food, making healthy choices, or not eating crap, I’m not. I’m consumed with other stuff and nonsense.
I’m sure I’m not the only one and yes, this is life, although this particular part of my life no-one should have to deal with, but it did force me to do something I haven’t done in five years, and that’s ask for support and help. I need someone in my corner right now because I can’t keep doing this all on my own. I need someone to speak to the authorities and the powers-that-be on my behalf because I have done this for five years on my own, and I’m exhausted.
So, I’ve put some measures in place that will hopefully safeguard me (and subsequently, the boys), for the future, so that I can remain resolute, strong, safe and able to cope. It’s ironic, but I’ve only been able to do that now I’m in a place of strength, I couldn’t years ago when I was broken. But there is help out there, it’s just a case of knowing where to look.
It’s helped saying all of that out loud because I’ve not been able to understand why some bad habits are creeping back in. Ice cream (OK, the weather is totally to blame for that one), a chocolate bar a day, when I really don’t need one … more carbs than I really should. Oh, and all the alcohol when I go camping, although in my defence, I’m pretty sure I can’t camp sober.
I stayed the same this week, which is surprising bearing in mind I didn’t have the greatest week, but I’m going to take it. I didn’t deserve to lose weight last week. So my total loss remains at 4 stones and 3lbs. I vow to do better this week.
Hope everyone had a good week and again, if you feel like you’d like to vote for me in the BiBs, that would be smashing, ta.
Over and out for now – please do follow me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and I’ll see you next week, and if you’re interested in learning more about the Thinking Slimmer download I listen to every night, you can find more information HERE.