I heard this week that I’ve finally got a date for an operation on my eye. I saw the doctor about it in January, chased several times, and I’m surprised I even heard back to be honest, but God bless the NHS! It’s all set. Until they probably cancel it. But it’s all set for now.


Anyway, I’m not sure I’ve mentioned it before, but you may well have noticed it already, but my left eyelid has become quite droopy. Yes, moreso when I’m drunk or tired (and I’m normally one or the other), but it has got worse over the years, to the point where during the tests at the hospital, it was clearly (pardon the pun), affecting my vision.


I remember one really, really helpful bloke on Plenty of Pish/Fish, making a comment about my ‘bong’ eye. Strangely, this was after I turned him down, and at least it made a change from calling me fat. But seriously, mate, do you think I don’t know what I look like in the mirror? Honestly, it’s not like I don’t know I’ve got a dodgy eye although, quite frankly, I actually find it rather endearing! As an aside, I do not miss online dating one bit.


So, the operation is scheduled for 4th July, at 7.30am – eek, not sure who I can persuade to take me to the hospital at that ungodly hour, but I’m weirdly really looking forward to it. It’s been something I’ve been really self-conscious about for years (as well as it affecting my vision of course,) and I’m hoping it’ll be a mini-facelift, and I’ll look like a new (20-year-old) woman! I’m going to rock the shit out of my eye patch, you just wait and see.


Although … of course it could go horribly wrong and I could end up looking like Sloth from The Goonies.



So, not only are my boobs heading southwards, so is my left eye. Thanks gravity, thanks alot.


kate sutton

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