As some of you know, I now seem to have a fella. Not quite sure how I managed it, but there you go – stranger things have happened I’m sure (although not in my lifetime!) Anyway … it’s early days, but the inevitable has happened.

 

Yup. I’m having WAY too much fun with him and seem to have lost my gym/healthy eating/blogging mojo somewhat and I’m feeling THE GUILT.

 

Easter didn’t help. Oh, I don’t mean Easter Sunday where I could have legitimately indulged in a Crème Egg or two. No, I mean the month running UP to Easter Sunday where I ate a Crème Egg a day. Couple that with that first flush of romance where all you want to do is go to pubs, drink all the beer and eat all the food, cuddle on the sofa and just order a takeaway instead of cook. We’ve walked a lot, and I am still cycling, but I haven’t been to the gym in over a week which, as you know, is quite a big deal for a gym bunny like me.

 

I feel flabby again. I mean I always was flabby, but I feel fat again – lethargic, huge and unhealthy. I’m putting shit into my body and consequently, I feel like shit. I had two Star Bars today for God’s sake. TWO! And a Milky Bar yesterday that he bought me because he just wanted to make me happy.

 

Gah! I love this first part of a relationship, I really do – I hope my happiness is coming/has come across on the blog lately, but I need to find some semblance of balance before I end up back at square one, four stone heavier.

 

Because that’s the thing when you’ve been fat. It is so, so easy to end up where you started if you’re not careful. I don’t think I will, I really don’t – I feel that by even recognising the warning signs at this early stage means that I can catch it in time and get back on track, but it’s scary to see how quickly you can get back into bad habits. I haven’t eaten a Star Bar or Milky Bar in over a year … in the space of two days I’ve had three. That’s an extra 650 calories, in the blink of a (delicious) eye.

 

The reason I’m saying this is because I need to vocalise/write down/be accountable for where I’m at right now. I missed writing my weekly healthy lifestyle update on Sunday because of Easter and to be honest, having written one every week for the last 66 weeks, I just wanted a day off. You can see over on Instagram some of what I got up to at the weekend (not that cheeky), and it was bloody wonderful. But my routine has changed, the routine I’ve had for nearly 18 months, and I hadn’t really thought this far ahead as to how I’d cope when that happened. Mainly because I didn’t see me ever getting a boyfriend, so I didn’t think it was something I’d have to worry about.

 

What now? Christ, I’m not sure. For the first time in a long time, I’m not sure what to do. I’m loving this new phase of life with him, but need to re-focus and remember how easy it is to put weight on for me. I looked at a Greggs’ sausage roll yesterday and put on 8lbs. I’m also pre-menstrual so all I want to do is eat Greggs sausage rolls and Star Bars, have Nana naps and wear leggings.

 

I’m very bloody-minded though so am confident that I’ll find a way to sort this out. I mean for a start, I didn’t even have chips with my kebab last night – how strong-willed am I?! There are some lovely cycle routes near to where he lives that I’m hoping I can persuade him to cycle with me, I’ll have a think about healthier restaurants we can try so that at least there is more of a food choice for me and also, and more importantly, I need to remember that this is life, and that what’s happening right now is something I don’t need to stress about and I should just bloody well enjoy it.

 

But maybe eat less kebabs. All advice welcome – please!

 

kate sutton

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Published by Kate Sutton

Writer, Mother, Dater.

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7 Comments

  1. Kate, I love that you recognise what is happening. If he really likes you then he should be open to buying you treats that are helping you not derailing you. A good plan to look for other places to eat and healthier choices. Why not say to him that you feel as if you are going backwards a bit and that you want to go back to your regular classes/ sessions at the gym and does he want to come with you or meet up after you have been? I am so happy that you have found someone who seems like a nice bloke, I am sure he will help you. Mind you, I write as someone who’s husband of 35 years buys me food based treats even when I ask him not too

  2. You’ve done so well, don’t be disheartened tomorrow’s another day. Start again, write yourself a food diary and go back to the gym, you’ll soon get back into it.
    I’ve loved reading your journey, you’re my inspiration and I want to continue to read about your journey.
    You look amazing :-)!

    1. Hi Suzanne – thank you! You’re so sweet. I think the trouble is, the longer you don’t go to the gym, the easier it is NOT to go. So I need to nip that in the bud ASAP and just go! x

  3. Kate! Firstly, congratulations on all the weight loss and your new man! Of course it’s pretty natural to revert to casual behavior at that lazy beginning of a relationship. However, blah blah, healthy living is something that has to be with you no matter what is happening in your life. THIS IS A TEST! Maybe, you need to include him in your situation if you haven’t already and let him know you need to eat more healthy and if he could not buy you the Mars bar that would be great….ask for something else for him to put a smile on your face. It might be embarrassing or not the way you want it to be but if you might see a future with Gregg you’ll have to include him in all your ups and downs and this is one that he is a part of. Sorry this is such a practical post but I have been there and it’s hard to do it alone. You know for alcoholics they shouldn’t be around people who drink for a while? Same thing, xxx

    1. Hey Jenny – ah, I appreciate your advice, thank you. I think it’s a great idea to talk to him about it … and I will, soon 🙂 (Btw, Greggs is the name of a bakery lol – although I do often wish my new man would cook me hot sausage rolls haha!) x

  4. Kate – you have always made me smile and helped me to keep it real – I went off the path of SW and realised that after 3 years of going I knew how to do it but just wasn’t doing it anymore and started to creep back to eating it all and in monumental amounts. Recently though I decided to do the Race for Life this year and instantly wanted to get fit and eat sensibly etc etc – find a reason to get back on track and then ‘he ‘ will become your supporter and feel important in your aim – I got my quite newish husband to walk 2 miles round the block this morning to help me ‘for the Race for Life’ – he felt needed bless him and I felt motivated. So glad you’ve got a lovely fella – you deserve it after working so hard on blogging and exercising and motivating everyone else – – I’m off to my Ukulele lesson now – it stops me from eating 🙂

  5. I think when you’re on a longer weight loss journey, sometimes pit stops like this happen. But that’s all it is, a pit stop, because you’ve noticed it in time. You’ve found some happiness that’s distracting you from your goal, but you’re not wrong to enjoy that happiness. And in time it will settle and you’ll find a way to get back on track. You’re very inspiring, and I don’t doubt you’ll find that way soon.
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