Well hello there. I’m writing this blog post whilst eating Lindt white chocolate Lindor sweets – you know the round balls? Ahem. ‘Irrestibably smooth.’ I’D SAY. Dang. I can’t stop eating the damned things. And bearing in mind this is probably the last Slimming World/Get Fit blog post of the year, a year after I started .. the irony isn’t lost on me.
Except, so many things are different a year on. They might not look it if you were to see me getting a boner over these chocolates, but in all seriousness, I’ve had three, and will probably stop there. I had two biscuits earlier, and I even … *shock horror * … had roast potatoes earlier that weren’t Slimming World Oxo Roast Potatoes. I KNOW!
And I’ve loved every mouthful (of food) that has passed my lips this Christmas. I’ve not gone overboard, and have never eaten to the point where I feel full or sick. But I’ve eaten fattening things that aren’t going to do me any favours but hey, it’s Christmas, it’s no biggie. And as I said over on Facebook, I even found myself doing a gym session on Christmas Eve, and I’m booked in for Spin tomorrow (Tuesday). It’s all about the balance (and the bass.)
(EXACTLY ONE YEAR APART)
You may have seen the blog post I wrote during the week about some of the things I’ve gone through in the past. I only really touched the surface but I have to say, I really do feel better for getting it off my chest and out into the WWW. It was (and is, just a little less so) like carrying a massive lead weight around with you all the time. No matter where you go, or who you’re with, shit like that weighs heavy on your heart, so to feel able to unload was good. I’m sad the post made my family sad though. I forget sometimes that people who know me in real life read my blog, and I’m sorry it caused them pain, but I hope they understand my reasons for it.
So it’s all good really. Even when it’s not.
2016 really was pretty rubbish for lots of reasons. The people we lost, the fact that Dad was so poorly for most of the year and the stress and heartache that caused us all, but personally, and I sort of feel a little guilty saying it out loud, I’d say I had a good year. I got my new job in April, and that’s going from strength to strength. I hope you can perhaps now understand my need to work from home now and be here for Dexter – and I’ve appreciated being able to do that, even if he doesn’t the importance of it, and nor should he. But he will. And I’m 3½ stones lighter than I was this very day last year. 365 days ago, I remember clearly lying on the sofa, not moving all day (although to be fair, I haven’t actually left the house today!), but lying there, eating rubbish ALL day, having no energy and then … THEN … having a sudden desire to change.
(EXACTLY ONE YEAR APART)
I can’t explain it. But literally something clicked inside of me and I thought, ‘I can’t carry on feeling this way.’ I knew then it was time to do something about how I felt, and that’s what I’ve been doing for the last year.
Now you all know it’s an ongoing process – I’m still considerably overweight, and I still have my weak moments, but I know I’ve changed for good. I’ve broken bad habits that I’ve had for years and now understand my body a lot more. And I think the most important change in me is realising WHY I put and kept weight on. Coming out of an abusive relationship alive makes you value life even more and so you want, need, to protect yourself, and that has meant, on a subconscious level, protecting myself from men, in case the same thing happened. It’s not been a conscious thing – if you follow this blog a lot, you’ll know that I’ve dated on and off for the past four years, but they’ve never got past one date. And now you know why.
The extra weight was one way of protecting myself. But a year ago that ‘click’ I think was me finally knowing it was time to move on. It took five years, but I did it.
I’m excited about 2017. I’ve persuaded my best friend to join my gym and, along with my other gym friend Sarah, the gym is going to be so much fun this year. I’ve had to keep my head down and bum up when it came to exercise this past year, to just crack on and get on with it – not worry about what I look like, but just work hard, and I’d say that the hard work is just beginning to pay off. It feels like 2017 is the next phase in my journey. I’m not sure Slimming World is working for me anymore because I’m still eating the things I’ve eaten all year but, as you know, the scales aren’t shifting because of all the exercise I’m doing, so I’ve downloaded the MyFitnessPal app again and in the new year I’m going to start logging exactly what I’m eating, so I can take a closer look at how much protein/carbs/fats I’m eating, and re-evaluate my diet.
I’m going to try some new classes out too. Pump will be the first one, and I think I’ll add Combat and Pilates into my routine too. It’s important to keep things fresh so your body doesn’t get too used to one particular exercise, plus the last thing I want is to get bored. So I’m feeling good about what’s ahead in the gym.
That’s about it. Food-wise, as you can imagine, has been erm … up and down. And although I haven’t got drunk at all, it’s been nice having the occasional vodka. I think this week will just see me phasing in healthy eating again – I’m still in holiday mode – but I’m going to stock up on fresh veg tomorrow and start making better choices. So I haven’t weighed myself (still) and I haven’t measured myself this week, there really is no point.
Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. I spent Christmas day at my brother’s, with all my family (apart from my eldest who comes home Wednesday, yay!) … and it was SO much fun! Apart from when we discussed that blog post that is haha!