This week’s Slimming World update is brought to you live via Lanzarote and I just thought it was important to document what was happening out here food-wise, rather than just skip a week. Having holidays and celebrations is part of life so I thought you might find interesting to see how I got on.
I won’t talk about the glorious weather too much.
I am reviewing a villa, courtesy of Villas4You, and I will, of course, write about that separately, but I am here with Dexter and this is the first time I’ve been on a villa holiday. Before I came here I thought that it would be the ideal holiday if you are following a weight-loss plan – I would cook most of my meals, only buy fresh fruit and vegetables and swim 100 lengths of the pool every day.
It hasn’t quite panned out like that.
It’s important that I am totally honest with you, but really important I am honest with myself and so here we go. I have reverted to some old/bad habits and it started as soon as we got to the airport. It was almost like I had given myself permission to do what I wanted because I knew it was for a finite period of time, for one week only, as it were. It could’ve been worse I suppose, but it wasn’t great. I had a raisin danish at Pret, but totally cancelled it out with a tub of mango. (Don’t worry, I do know it doesn’t work like that.) I also bought two packets of Mini Eggs and a big bag of gummy bears in Smiths and I have managed to eke these out between the two of us over the week. Three months ago, I could easily have eaten them all in one go, but I saw them, I wanted them, I bought them, and we’ve eaten them!
The plan was that I would cook breakfast and lunch at the villa, and we would go out into town for dinner every evening. We’ve done that for the first three days but we stumbled across an English restaurant that does a great fry-up this morning and I succumbed today. Again, it could’ve been worse. I had the small breakfast with one of everything, and a scraping of butter on my toast, so I take some comfort in that.
I’ve had chips with dinner instead of my usual rice or potatoes, and last night I ate this:
Oh my God it was good though.
I’ve had half a beer but don’t really fancy any alcohol – not so much fun when you’re the only adult. We’re not near enough to any shops to just pop out for an ice cream, and I did buy some apples and bananas on our first day, not that I’ve eaten them mind you. We had a takeaway curry on our first night, but I scraped the sauce off and left the onion bhajis. I’m not particularly hungry so I’m not snacking, but I know I’m not making great choices, I just find it harder to do out here.
The thing is, particularly as a single parent, I’m always on duty at home. I’m always the one cooking and cleaning and … adulting – it’s exhausting! And I just don’t want to cook all the time here. I want to sometimes feels like I can just do what I want, eat what I want, without worrying about the bloody syns in it! I sound like a petulant child that wants what it ‘can’t’ have. Intellectually, I understand that. Emotionally, I just need a break from real life. Of course, it’s not that simple – I’m here with my son and I never really get a break from parenting, and that’s cool. But I suppose I did/do want a break from making good food choices, as childish as that might be, because the only person it hurts is me.
I don’t know if that makes sense or not, I’m just typing out what’s coming into my head as I think about it, but hopefully some of you may know what I’m waffling on about.
I feel some of them the guilt that I vowed not to feel when I go off plan and that really annoys me. It reminds me that my mindset hasn’t 100% changed, but I have to learn not to be hard on myself. It’s just a week. One week out of many. I’m on holiday and I can and will easily get back on plan when I get home – my decision to lose weight in the long run hasn’t changed, but coming away has shown me how easy it would be to put all of the weight on that I’ve lost if I’m not careful.
I swim every day, but not 100 lengths, I just dick about with Dexter and play ‘goggle tag’ and ‘who can stay underwater the longest’. We walk uphill for 20 minutes from town back to the villa, laden with heavy bags full of water every day and we don’t get taxis when we could take the easy route. So that’s good. I don’t think I’ve eaten any speed food since I arrived, unless a mini egg can be classed as a speed fruit. We went for a nice walk after dinner last night, instead of just vegging back at home, so all these things add up to changing behaviours.
I’m out of routine, away from home and things aren’t running exactly how I thought they would, and in one way that’s great, I needed the break, but perhaps me going more off plan then I had envisaged is just what i needed. Weekends touring the UK aside, I have been really good following the Slimming World plan but I need to learn how to handle weeks away from routine better than this if this is going to be a long-term thing.
Anyway, I’m thoroughly enjoying the sunshine, red striped sunburnt legs aside, and of course, there will be no weigh-in this week! I will be home next Thursday and so might risk a weigh-in next weekend.
However, I did take the brave/daft decision to take a photo of myself in a bikini and post it on my blog’s Facebook page, and so I’ve documented where I’m at that way. Everyone was very lovely about it, which was a real change after Mumsnet shared this blog post I wrote two years ago about big girls wearing bikinis – I got ripped to shreds about how ‘disgusting’ I was and well, part of me is still hurt by that I suppose.
Anyway, the sun is shining and Dexter is calling me (again) to go in the pool with him, so I better dash.