First of all, Happy Mother’s Day. To all of my readers who are mums, but especially to those of you who, like me, are single mums, and especially to those who have lost their mum. Mother’s Day is a double whammy for me and my heart feels heavy. I try hard to be upbeat but it’s tough. But after my eldest finished work at 5pm, Dexter and I picked him up and we all went to Nandos for dinner – mums should definitely not have to cook on Mother’s Day! It’s such a bittersweet day and even though Mum is nearly 11 years gone, there isn’t one day that goes by that I don’t think of her. Not one.
Anyway, onto the week that was. Things began picking up work wise this week and I’ve had quite a few enquiries with regards to work, culminating in an actual real-life interview for this Wednesday coming – eek! It’s for a job that I know I could do really well, but obviously it’s a case of whether my face fits or not! Let’s hope the brand likes me as much as I like them.
Food-wise, as I mentioned last week, I’m in a routine Monday-Friday and as much as I am finding I’m eating the same meals over and over again, because I’m not bored, it keeps me on the straight and narrow, so don’t see a problem in Salmon Monday. Oh, Salmon Wednesday and … Salmon Thursday. What I did do, however, was to mix it up slightly and add more speed food to some of my dinners, so I added sweetcorn and pickled gherkins to try and make it interesting. It didn’t really work. I like what I like and will go back to doing it the way I’ve always done it.
Top tip here though, regarding the whole salmon thing. Halfway through cooking, I slice the skin off and fry that off separately and so it becomes really crispy and actually tastes a bit like pork crackling. I know that sounds a bit weird/rank but if you cook it just-so, it’s lovely and adds great texture to what is otherwise just a salmon salad. I also add a touch of balsamic vinegar over my onions and lettuce and I have really pushed the boat out by hard boiling a couple of eggs and adding them.
Talk about living the dream!
Breakfasts were banana pancakes yet again and no, I’m still not synning the cooked bananas. #ThugLife
I went away to Suffolk this weekend for a day and a night with Dexter to review a hotel and cafe and if you follow me on Facebook you may have seen that I partook in a gin or two. I ate what I wanted but made fairly good decisions, for example only having half a sandwich and half a piece of cake for lunch, and as much as I did (shock horror) have two slices of bread and butter, overall I am happy with what I ate. I enjoyed every mouthful!
I made these Slimming World Oat Cookies – let me know if you’d like the recipe
We went to Byron for my niece’s 21st birthday and I chose the Naked Burger with sweet potato fries. Not perfect, but better than what I used to choose. All washed down with water instead of milkshake.
My attempt at adding extra speed food – but all I’m interested in is that delicious crispy/burnt skin!
The steak I chose whilst in Suffolk – I didn’t realise it would come covered in butter but hey-ho, it was lovely! I only had a couple of chips with it and a salad with no dressing
It’s no wonder that I’ve put 1lb on. So that’s 1 stone and 10lbs in 9 weeks. Putting weight on isn’t ideal, but it’s not the end of the world. I’ve been thinking about it and it seems to be the case that if I go away for the weekend I put a pound on and then manage to take it off (and more) the week after. I guess it could be seen that I have undone all of the good work I put in from Monday to Friday, but I don’t see this as yo-yo dieting. Yes, it’s a bit ‘2 steps forward and 1 step back’, but life is just like that. I can be on plan 100% Monday to Friday, but at the weekend I want to experience new places, restaurants, hotels, cafes, cake, toasted cheese and pesto sandwiches … and that is absolutely OK. It really is. There is not one ounce of me that feels guilty about anything that passed my lips this weekend (oooerr.) Imagine if I had carried on eating whatever I liked Monday to Sunday, week after week, the way I was eating before I started Slimming World .. I would be a darn site heavier than I am now, and a lot more miserable.
I think what I’m trying to say is I knew I would put a pound on, I had a great weekend, the end.
I am actually away the next two weekends too and of course, if I put 1lb on each time I do that then it’s not really ideal, but I will deal with that a weekend at a time, as I have been doing.
But you know what? I actually feel really great right now. I don’t ache like I used to, I can feel all of my clothes getting looser and I even bought a dress this weekend (albeit from the charity shop) and it looks really nice on me. That’s quite a bold statement coming from me, but I looked at myself in the mirror and a) couldn’t believe the dress actually fit and b) I thought I looked really nice.
That’s actually made me quite emotional saying that because I’ve hated what I’ve seen for so long and I’ve been so hard on myself that to hear myself say something positive feels like a bit of a milestone for me. I’m still very much overweight and I have a lot of weight to lose but there’s a reason why I haven’t shared my weight with all of you.
You see, I don’t see that it’s that relevant. Yes, it’s personal and I’m a bit embarrassed, but it’s just a number. It’s a big number, granted, but it’s just a number. It doesn’t bear any relation to who I am as a person. That number doesn’t have anything to do with how much I love my children or what a good friend (I hope) I am. That number doesn’t tell you anything about my heart, my struggles, my pain and my joy … it’s just a number. So I have deliberately not shared it because I don’t think what shows up on the scale reflects who you and I are as people.
Just a quick note about the photographs I share with you. I’m so bored of seeing my face! It must look a little arrogant that I’m taking photographs of myself all the time, but I hope you understand why I do it. When you have hated what you’ve seen for so many years, it’s really encouraging to see your face and your body change, so I want to document it. I also get lots of messages from people who are inspired by the fact I’m sharing my story and that I’m pretty honest about it, and so even though I’ve put weight on this week, and I’m far from perfect, I’ll just carry on and hope that you still find it interesting!
I hope your week went well and here’s to another great week, regardless of what the scales say.