online dating



For those of you that read my recent online dating post, ‘7 reasons why I haven’t responded to dating messages this week’, you may have seen me mention Plate Man in point 3. I went on to say that I wouldn’t let his apparent obsession with collecting plates put me off, and we were in fact, meant to meet this evening.


Of course, as is the norm with me, that hasn’t quite gone to plan.


After we began talking online, he asked me out a few times and we finalised a date. Then a good friend of mine messaged me to say, “This guy isn’t called Pete is he?” My heart sank, because that can only mean one thing. She has either dated him before or IS dating him now.


Sure enough, we chatted and it transpired that she went on a date with him a week prior to me talking to him, AND went on a date the night before. Now the thing with online dating is this … the pool of eligible men for us (and women for them), is fairly small. We are all looking for men/women that don’t live too far away, that are our age (or near enough), and don’t look like Mr Bean, so I understand that the chances of someone I like talking to one of my single friends is quite high – I get that. However, what men don’t seem to appreciate is that because this pool is so small, the chances are that at least two women may well know each other, so you should be really careful how you treat women online.


Clearly, Pete the Plate hadn’t quite thought this through, because whilst he was chatting me up and arranging our date … he was actually already on a date with my friend!


In fact, he was texting me whilst he was in her car on the way to the pub AND then arranged our date whilst she was in his house having coffee! Thankfully, I mean an actual cup of coffee, not having a metaphorical ‘coffee’. But either way, what an absolute shit.


After she and I had discovered what Pete the Plate was up to, she sent him a text saying she wouldn’t be going out with him again and it’s a shame he couldn’t be as honest as he professed to be. Of course, he made out he didn’t know what she was talking about until, that is, she sent him a screen shot of my earlier conversation with him arranging our date. I think the penny may have dropped somewhat at that point.


Whilst he was trying to worm his way out of that situation, he was texting me to see if I would still go out with him! Suffice to say, I declined. The words, ‘utter douchebag’ may have been mentioned.


You see, as mature women, we understand that it’s highly unlikely men on dating sites are only talking to us. We know they are going to chance their arm (and other parts of their body) with other women, but there is a line I don’t think you should cross. If you are dating more than one woman, at least be upfront about it and don’t pretend you’re not, just so you can keep your options open. At least that gives us the opportunity to decide if you are the type of man we want to spend our precious spare time on, or whether we’d prefer to walk away.


Women talk. I think Pete the Plate has just learnt a valuable lesson and we both got a half-hearted apology out of him in the end. What’s sad is that even though my friend had already decided not to have a third date with him before she found all this out, he could’ve been just right for me. But now we’ll never know.


And with that in mind, onwards. I began talking to someone else that asked me out a year ago but, yet again, things haven’t quite gone to plan.


But I’ll tell you more about that in my next dating update.


kate sutton


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Published by Kate Sutton

Writer, Mother, Dater.

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