Meeting up with fellow bloggers has become a highlight of my month. It’s normally four or five of us and it’s a great opportunity to put the (blogging) world to rights. And eat all the cake. (Although yet again, I brought shame on my people by bringing my own peanut butter on toast to eat. What can I say? I’m on a tight budget.)


Anyway … two of my blogging friends said something to me (separately) that I found rather interesting. I have absolutely no idea how we got onto the subject but they both commented that I have a very calming influence on them.


Now it could be because I’m the oldest in the group, although my extremely youthful complexion may say otherwise. But I’m not sure it’s just an age thing.


It’s funny isn’t it, you only really ever think about who you are as a person when someone points out your characteristics (or flaws) and that’s not something I think we do readily without fear of being slapped around the face a few times. I know I’m always uber careful about not upsetting people so tend to keep my opinions to myself. For the most part …


I find/found what they said rather refreshing. I like to know what people think of me, because at my age, it doesn’t affect me anymore. I don’t intend to change as a person just because of what someone says – so I can take a comment or observation at face value. When you’re younger and perhaps slightly more insecure (or unsure of who you are), what people say matters. When you’re 44, it really doesn’t.


I’ve never been one for drama. One of my most redeeming features (at least on a CV) is being able to stay calm in a crisis, which always helped when working for CEO’s of multi-national corporations. The same principle applies to being a parent. Drama makes me anxious. I hate that stomach-churning feeling when people around me create and I spent years in a relationship treading on eggshells – I have no intention of doing that ever again.


Don’t get me wrong, Dexter and I don’t live in a Utopia. Trust me, when he is late for school again because he just ‘had’ to finish his FIFA game on the PS3, the noise level raises exponentially (in his ear) … but it’s temporary, and once I’ve said/shouted what I needed to, life goes back to normal.  But I often take time out to be quiet, I (obviously) spend a lot of time by myself but that has never bothered me.  I’m great company 🙂  But the older I get, the more I crave calmness … I think that just comes across as what I’m like as a person now.


Very Zen no?


Calm is the new black. Or something.


Would you agree?









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Published by Kate Sutton

Writer, Mother, Dater.

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  1. Oh yes! I find as I get older that I crave calm more and more and my family seem to just cause drama and stress about various things on a weekly basis. I think in life we have a lot on our plates, why add to that by getting overly stressed or creating big drama over a situation that can either a) Is temporary and we can change it easily (or it is just a short thing that will very soon be done and dusted) b) we can’t change it so we have to just work through it and know that things will get better. The stress and drama do not help..

    1. Hear hear! And I think we just pass that stress onto our kids too if we’re not careful … I see that in Dexter sometimes – it’s like looking in a mirror! So that’s a real driver to ensure I stay calm as much as I can!

  2. I love a bit of calm and some people would say I was but more than often I check in with myself at a very high level stress. It is not good and a knock on of the day to day crap that is thrown my way!

    I thought yoga may be the answer but then maybe spending time with you would do! 🙂

  3. I don’t just crave the calm, I need it! I need to balance moments of chaos with long periods of calm to reset.

    I also do find you very calming to be around, but think there is a certain comfort that comes from being at peace with yourself. Something I am learning to be more and more with every year xx

  4. I think they’ve got it about right – you do come across, online and in real life, as a calm person, which is just lovely 🙂 I also tend to do calm more than stress – I’ve worked in enough stressful situations in my life that I tend to think “it could be much worse so let’s just deal with it”. It’s also lovely to have people tell you what they think of you, I had that recently too, and it was an eye-opener (in a good way) xx

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