I’m writing this from one of my many offices … aka Costa. It’s a great space for people watching/procrastinating when you’re actually meant to be working. I like to think of it as providing me with an environment to enjoy life’s rich tapestry.


Or just laugh at how moronic people can be.


Take this morning. I sat at my usual table … a table for two so people can’t join me. (Suffice to say I’m not a morning person.) It’s facing the door so I can ensure I see absolutely everyone that comes in. Remember I wrote about the hot bearded guy in the café? See? Wise to see what/who comes in first and stake your claim. (Did I say that out loud?)


Anyway, so I’m sat at ‘my’ table, and a woman comes in, then just stands inside the doorway. It’s obvious she’s waiting for someone as she keeps doing that thing where you check your watch a lot to show other people that you’re not just standing there for no reason and you are, in fact, well … waiting for someone.


She waits for her friend … standing up … by the door … for 16 whole minutes. (Yes, I timed it.)


Which begs the question – why not just bloody sit down, enjoy a coffee and wait for your friend in comfort?


I can think of nothing better than enjoying a coffee in a café in peace … preferably on my own. And when I say ‘with no company’, I do, of course, specifically mean,  no kids.


But not for this lady. Oh no. She just LOVES standing by a drafty door in the middle of Autumn waiting for what could be, for all we know, an imaginary friend. I mean, she wasn’t imaginary, she did eventually turn up.


It got me thinking. Why are some people so afraid to embrace being on their own? Granted, my ‘aloneness’ has been somewhat foisted on me, but I have never seen being single as a reason to act any differently to how I would normally act. In fact, I adore time on my own, I always have.


Solitude is good for the soul (not too much solitude mind you … tends to send you a little stir crazy), but I think nothing of going to a restaurant, café, cinema, anywhere … on my own. It gives you time to become ‘at ease’ with who you are as a person. You are not part of a coupling. You are not someone else’s wife or girlfriend … you are you. It’s rather liberating.


I remember feeling like I had completely lost my identity when I was in my last relationship and I’ve vowed to never let that happen again. I like to think that I’m pretty good company and you gotta be your own No.1 fan right?


So yeah, people can be morons. I definitely have moronic tendencies … but maybe this lady in the café wasn’t an actual moron … maybe she was just a little shy, or lacking in confidence. Perhaps she’s ‘lost’ herself a little or maybe … she just likes standing by cold doorways. Who knows? I’m not judging. Well I am, she should have just sat down and embraced being on her own.


It’s not so bad.







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Published by Kate Sutton

Writer, Mother, Dater.

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  1. i love time for myself. Before I lived with OH I lived on my own for 6 years & grew to enjoy my own company. I have no problem doing anything by myself including travelling to the states or seeing a play. OH sends me out to Costa with my kindle so I can be by myself.

    1. I think it’s really important to have that period of time in your life to reconnect with yourself … as moronic (it’s the word of the day) as that sounds. Your OH sounds a keeper 🙂

  2. Well said and you’ve reminded me to get a coffee alone with myself this week. And I do think that it’s a bit peculiar to stand out in the cold at a coffee shop….I’ve been early and (mostly) late meeting friends before and neither of us has ever waited outside! Nowt so odd as folk eh? x

  3. i have been on my own for over 10 years, now that my kids are nearly grown up i really am started to hated it, its not fun

  4. It’s a confidence thing, definitely. It’s the same when people who we believe to be super-confident who arrange to meet friends at the station before going to a blogging event.

    It also might be the other person’s turn to buy the coffee and if you’re already sat there with one it’s a bit greedy to ask for another…

  5. I actually try to turn up very early now if I’m meeting someone, so that I can spend some time alone. Always armed with a book or my iPad in my handbag of course and God forbid if my friend turns up early too! Lol!

  6. My mum would stand and wait for her friend as she would only drink one coffee & therefore would prefer to stand rather than sit without a drink. I’ve been for coffee solo many times & enjoy it, I’ve also been to the cinema, out for dinner, away for wkds & holidays abroad solo. It’s liberating.

  7. What a wally! As you say, why not sit down, grab a coffee and enjoy some alone time. I’m a sociable chatterbox and love being surrounded by people whose company I enjoy, BUT I equally love time on my own, either with a good book, or just with my thoughts. Totally agree that you’ve gotta love yourself x

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