It’s not often that I put money aside to spend on myself. Mainly because I never have what one might consider ‘spare’ cash. But there you have it, I have actually gone ahead and decided that for once, I’m going to treat myself.


It wasn’t an easy decision.


In fact, I actually had the following conversations in my head:


“Do I need anything for the house? I’ve got those lovely green dining room chairs from Atlantic Shopping … WHICH I MADE MYSELF  (you can have a read about that here) … (who, btw, are currently running a Halloween competition – where you could win £500 to spend on dining room sets, chairs and tables) …  I’ve got my eBay sideboard and a bed. I’ve got seventy billion candles. Do I really need anything else?”


“Does Dexter need anymore clothes?  (We went to Base Fashion last week and I bought him lots of ‘smart’ clothes for our Yorkshire holiday.)  Oh, and a coat. Oh, and football trainers and boots. He’s OK for now. But is he though? Yes Kate … he is!”


It was only then that I stopped making excuses and realised that there was no reason why I shouldn’t buy something for myself.


But why do I find it so hard?  Why do I feel so guilty?


I remember when I worked in a dry cleaners as a Saturday girl and even though I only earned £1.35 per hour (yes, I’m really that old), I still managed to go clubbing four times a week AND buy new clothes.  God, I sound like my Dad.  But I wouldn’t think twice about spending every last penny I had on myself and yet now, fast forward nearly 30 years, I seem to always find excuses not to spend it on myself.


Perhaps it’s because money IS so scarce and so I just always end up feeling guilty. Or maybe I’m just so used to putting my boys at the top of my list (and rightfully so) that it feels uncomfortable to put myself there instead.  But actually, when I think about it, it can only be a good example to set for my boys … showing them that I value myself.


For me, it’s not just about the money – it’s about the principle.  I would be the first person to suggest to a friend that she should look after herself, to treat herself well, and I really should start practicing what I preach.  Whether that’s making sure my inner dialogue is full of positivity, or ensuring I make time to do things that make me smile … it’s all important right?  So the amount of money I’m spending is irrelevant really … it’s more about the process of making the decision to put myself first.


I’d be interested to know if I’m alone in feeling like this. Do you feel guilty treating yourself?




*  In association with Base Fashion.


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Published by Kate Sutton

Writer, Mother, Dater.

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  1. I feel the exact same! My girls have everything and then some, they have toys galore and wardrobes bursting at the seams, yet I find it so difficult to treat myself? I’ve no idea why! I think it’s time to change xx

    1. I think if we look at it like we’re giving our kids a valuable lesson, we’d find it easier. You’d want your girls to be kind to themselves right? To value themselves? Well where are they going to learn that from? Yup – you! 🙂

  2. Oh the guilt of going to primark to buy a dress for a fiver. I suffer with mummy guilt, with I’m the only one earning guilt in fact, all the guilt!

    I am beginning to come to the conclusion that I DO need to treat myself every so often. I work hard, I care for both my parents who are both terminally ill (5 days a week for a minimum of 3 hours hours each time), I care for my epileptic husband and I have a snot nosed 17 year old son. So I deserve a dress for a fiver from primark. I DO! *stops thinking about taking it back cos of the guilt setting in*

    1. Oh Vonn, please buy the bloody dress! You are an amazing woman (seriously) and I can, from the bottom of my heart, say that you deserve a dress from Primark … and a whole lot more! So PLEASE treat yourself! Now if only I could do that for myself lol!

  3. Oh I forgot to mention, outside of work (I’m an HCA) I do all my caring for no money cos I’m just lovely like that, or possibly a total mug, bit undecided on that one at the moment

      1. I got the dress, after spending half an hour dithering about it lol. Got home and it’s too bloody big! One plus side about running after everyone, I’ve lost a load of weight

  4. Oh my word, YES. I agree with every bit of this. I really struggle with spending money on myself, even when it comes to having my hair done I’ll wait until I see a Groupon deal for a super cheap offer. I love spending money on the girls and even buying nice things for Husband but I resent spending money on myself – I think I think I’m not worth it, somehow?

    1. It’s madness Jayne isn’t it? I’d be the first to tell you that you should spoil yourself … but the last to think I deserve it. Like I said to Claire I think in the comments, it’s great for our children to see that we value ourselves so maybe that’s one way of looking at it?

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