It’s been a funny old year. It started out with a court case and could end with a potential move to the other end of the country. In between, I’ve had a few jobs, a house sale, the odd date (in some cases, very odd) … and a move to a new, albeit temporary house.
I often take stock of where I’m at but also where I’m going. I wrote recently about the crossroads I have found myself in and, as yet, I’m still none the wiser as to what my next move will be. So much depends on having a good financial footing and right now, I don’t have that. I’ve come to realise that when it comes to employment, as much as I love it, perhaps freelancing isn’t for me. Being a one-wage family has been difficult at the best of times and I just don’t think I can afford the instability anymore. It’s been great … and I needed the break from office life to try something new (and I loved the freedom!) but I think it’s time to go back to something a little more stable.
I find it really helps me if I try and visualise what I want in life. I’m not saying I sit crossed legged and ommmmmm about what I want, or that it always works … but it’s worth a shot. Come to think of it, isn’t that what Noel Edmonds is really into?
I cannot begin to predict where we’ll be next year or what I’ll be doing for work. But isn’t that kinda exciting?! If you believe in the whole psychic thing (I have friends who are really into it) then there are sites you can visit for ‘advice’. As for me, as I said, I like to visualise what I want, then spend months turning it over in my head, time and time again. I consider every permeation of how it will turn out. What if we move and hate it? What if I miss my best friend’s stupid ginger face too much and cry myself to sleep every night? What if Dexter hates his new school then HATES ME FOREVER!
OK, all (mostly all) are unlikely scenarios but this is how my mind works. I worry about how things will turn out before I’ve even done them. Maybe it’s a self preservation thing? If I tell myself something will end badly, I’m PROTECTING myself … so I really shouldn’t do it.
But change is good. No matter how scary it is.
Change is good. It’s a new mantra.
It’s funny how comfortable we get with our lives isn’t it? So much so that before you know it, you’ve spent your entire life in one town. Well that’s how it’s been for me … and I’m like REALLY old. So perhaps it’s time for a little adventure?
As for love next year … it’s moved WAY down the list of things I want, which is a really interesting development. It’s not something that’s in my life plan anymore (of course if it happens, great) … but I have so many other exciting things to look forward to that I’m not sure I even have the energy to devote to dating anymore. My last date was about five months ago, and that fizzled out disappointingly, but it’s left me wondering whether I’m even meant to fall in love again. Maybe I’m not? And that’s (a little sad) but absolutely fine by me.
I LOVE MY LIFE! Of course, I’d rather be richer, younger and thinner … but actually, because I’m now taking time to think about what I want and where I’m going, it’s made me appreciate what I DO have. Healthy kids. Opportunities. A desire to travel. Great people around me. A real lust for life!
Watch this space. No doubt I’ll blog about every single decision I make!
Are you adventurous, or are you quite happy with how your life has turned out – would love to know!
* I received a voucher to buy thermals in case we move to Leeds!