The strangest thing happened to me earlier this week (not remotely kinky, don’t worry) … but I realised I fancy Chris Martin.
Yep. THAT Chris Martin.
Coldplay’s Chris Martin.
Ex Goop’s hubby Chris Martin.
I’ve always thought of him as a little bit, well, pointless and vapid. Don’t get me wrong, I actually quite like his music, as middle of the road as it can be … am partial to humming along to Yellow or … or … nope, can’t thing of another of his songs.
So you can understand my consternation when I saw a photo of him online and I did that head tilt thing when you’re looking at someone or something and trying to decide if you like it.
Because the thing is, I thought I’d always been quite sure about the type of man I go for and who I would want as a partner, but when I look back on people I’ve had relationships with, or even just dated, I realise there isn’t one physical thing they all had in common. (Yes, yes, apart from that.) They were all so completely different that I’ve never been able to see a pattern, which has made it quite difficult to understand why those relationships hadn’t worked out.
I’m finding, particularly as I’m getting older, that I’m surer than ever of the things I want in a future partner, which can only be a good thing, and amazingly, it’s not just a beard.
So what do I want?
I honestly don’t think the list would be too exhaustive … trust, honesty, respect, they’re the givens aren’t they? And I’m far from high maintenance … but what about the other, smaller things?
I actually wrote a list of what I wanted … then deleted it because it all boils down to one thing …
I want my man to look at me like I’m his everything.
Because you know what? If a man is into you, he’s going to make it pretty clear that’s the case. You will KNOW … just by the way he looks at you. There will be no games. No guessing. It will just … be.
It reminded me of this scene from SATC:
I love men, which is odd considering what awful relationships I’ve been in, but I’ve always been comfortable in men’s company and am proud to have a few, very close (platonic) male friends that mean a lot to me. But it’s not the same as having a man to call your own … one to come home to, and I’m really missing that at the moment.
Perhaps it’s the ‘grass is greener syndrome’, or perhaps I’m just wondering whether it will ever be my time again or perhaps … because I’ve been in love twice before, I should be grateful for even having that. Some people aren’t so lucky. And yes I have a great life, I’m happy, fab kids, work’s good, it’s not like I need a man. I just think I might like one again.
I think Chris Martin is safe (for now) … I love meat and chocolate way too much (and yoga really isn’t my thing even though I’m surprisingly bendy,) but I can’t help wondering … will I ever fall in love again?
The romantic in me says yes … you may have been hurt, but it’s OK to fall in love again … and she’s much more fun to listen to!