A friend come to stay over the New Year for a few days. Yes, the male of the species. Anyway, my bedroom was a real mess but it’s just something you end up living with right? The bed was always made and clothes were (generally) put away but there were jobs I’d avoided – like dealing with Mums jewellery boxes (8 years after she died), emptying the top drawer of my bedside table of assorted nonsense that had been collected over the years – out of date medication, teeth (Dexter’s not mine), I even found an old letter from Mum thanking me for throwing her a surprise party – and old books and half used hair mousse tins.
Basically, I wanted to make sure that I’d eradicated all signs of my ex … there just happened to be a whole lot more to get rid of than I’d thought!
As I was sorting out the dusty magazines and books I’d left in an old magazine rack beside my bed, I came across something that made me stop dead in my tracks.
It was this:
It’s the formal certificate from my university I received when I graduated in 2010. An Uppper First don’tcha know which, for a girl who never even did A Levels was an achievement. It was in a half sealed envelope, I’d obviously looked at it and just put it away again.
I felt a mix of emotions when I saw it. I’m very, very proud of myself for what I achieved – I still remember how hard I worked, but I was also sad that this certificate was just lying amongst old copies of Red magazine and Heat, put to one side.
You see it’s really hard to explain now I’m out of it, but being in a difficult and painful relationship takes up so much energy, that it’s enough just to get through each day sometimes. Celebrating massive victories like graduating, or even coping with massive losses in life, all took second place.
But enough of that.
The day after I found the certificate, I went out and bought a lovely silver frame for the certificate and it now takes pride of place on my sideboard, nestled amongst photographs of my family.
Right where it belongs.