So, I have this fur coat. A fake one obviously. It’s been sat in its M&S bag for 4 months in the boot of my car … (yes, M&S again – I have literally turned into my Mum) but I finally plucked up courage to wear it this week.
I blogged about it here so you can see what it looks like … but it’s mid-thigh length (hides the butt), dark brown and like most awesome things in life, VERY strokeable. (Just had a debate on Twitter as to how to spell ‘strokable/strokeable.’ I now don’t think the word actually exists but it’s staying.)
The trouble was, I felt a little out of place wearing it. I don’t work in London and quite frankly, I wasn’t sure Maidstone was quite ready for the sight of me in a fur coat.
So, I put it to Twitter:
And got this reply:
EXACTLY! Nobody puts Baby in the corner! (or something.) Not only should I totally wear it, but I should try and wear it in the most mundane of places. I like a challenge, so I’ve worn it for the past 2 days. Yesterday saw my fur coat and I (we make a great couple) visit Primark, Natwest, Dorothy Perkins and the Post Office.
Today, we went to Subway.
I’m trying to bring a little bit of glamour back into my life … (#BringingGlamourBack) … by the medium of fake fur.
And then a funny thing happened.
Yesterday, on my way back to the office, a man did a double take when he saw me. Now believe me, this doesn’t really happen to me anymore. I don’t know if it’s a size/age/me thing … but gone are the days where builders whistle or men walking past letch. And I don’t miss it. But I do being looked at occasionally. It feels like I’m invisible. I came to terms with that and figured that’s just what happens when you get to my age. But, as regular readers of my blog know, I’m very comfortable with who I am so it is no big deal.
Anyway, the same guy passed me again today on my way back to work except this time he said hello, and when I said hello back he stopped, turned round and made his way towards me.
Christ! What now?! This was unprecedented territory! I am so out of practice that I completely froze. I didn’t know whether to just ignore him walking towards me, run, walk towards him, or just stand there like a complete melon.
I chose the latter.
“Hi, I saw you yesterday. I’m Andrew. What’s your name?”
Panic, panic, panic. Do I make up a name and introduce myself as Maureen from Maidstone? Do I do what I do when a charity collector tries to accost me and pretend I’m late for a meeting? Or do I just talk to the bloke? After all, he’s been brave enough to approach me.
“I’m Kate,” I replied.
God, even writing back this exchange makes me cringe. I remember a time when not only did men approach me more than once every 2 years, but I knew what to do! Hell, I remember a time when I’d approach a man in a bar if I liked him! But today, I stood there and I froze.
“I’ve seen you around. Do you think you’d like to go out sometime Kate?” he asked.
“Oh I can’t I’m afraid. I have a boyfriend,” I lied.
I HAVE A BOYFRIEND?!
Pathetic. It was like being 15 all over again.
I think he knew I was lying but smiled and said OK, and he then wandered off.
And that was that really.
And I know exactly what the issue is. It’s a control thing. When I date, it’s my choice who I date, where we go, and what happens. Today, that was all thrown out of the window and I had to relinquish all control. I didn’t know what to do.
I’m not sure whether it was the lure of my fur (so to speak) or whether I just walk differently whilst I wear it, but I do feel different when I wear it. Hard to explain but I’m beginning to feel more like myself. It’s nice.
I think I’ve just had the stuffing knocked out of me lately, that’s all. I know the confidence will come back at some point but until then, I’m going to wear the hell out of this fur coat and see what happens on Day 3!