some things take time




As you know, I like to think of myself as a bit of a dating guru.  Stop laughing.  OK, I might still be single but, having had my fair share of dating (disasters) I could probably write a book on the do’s and don’ts of dating.


In fact, at some point, I probably will.


My main gripe about dating is that I never seem to get to the point where I feel that intimacy you can only feel when you’re in love. Hell, I rarely even get to a second date.  This point was driven home to me this morning when I unexpectedly caught a tender exchange between a couple in love that reduced me to tears.


I was in my car, in a car park outside an office, waiting for a friend to arrive, when I looked up from my phone and noticed a lady sat in her car, obviously waiting for someone.  As my preponderance for people watching seems to currently be at an all time high, I watched with interest.  Who was she waiting for?  Was she having an illicit affair … or was she just waiting for her Mum to return with the shopping?


A few minutes went by and a man walked out of a nearby office and over to her car.  She wound down her window and handed him a carrier bag, which looked it had his packed lunch inside.


He kissed her on the cheek, smiled, poked his head inside the car to wave to his kids and then gave them a double thumbs up when he looked inside the bag – guess it was KitKat Tuesday.


He was only there for a minute or two but it was just the ease with which they were with each other that really touched me.  That comfortableness.  That desire to make someone else laugh.  That tenderness between two people.


You see, when you’re single … and even when you’re ‘only’ dating … these are the things you miss.  The little things.  The fact that someone loves you enough to drive your packed lunch over to where you work because you forgot it.  The silly faces your partner makes to make your child laugh.  The way a man gently strokes a woman’s hair like it’s as second nature to them as breathing.


They’re the things I miss.


I am in no rush.  I have no desire to try and force a closeness with someone I barely know … it will happen when and if the time is ever right again, but I think the fact that I’m not so hardened by my life experiences that I can still recognise love when I see it says a lot.


I think I’m still capable of love and that’s enough for me right now.




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Published by Kate Sutton

Writer, Mother, Dater.

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  1. Love this. Far too many people are keen to force that closeness for a myriad of reasons. I’m not criticising, but it’s not for me. I saw an old couple holding hands this week and I smiled to myself. Knowing I can recognise love and I am still capable of it, is enough for me too.

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