crab & winkle



I’m back! Did you miss me? OK, fair point – a week in Whistable hardly constitutes a fanfare return … but just for once, it’d be nice y’know? Just FYI.


Anyway, we had a lovely time away – staying at a friend’s gorgeous house right by the harbour. We were lucky with the weather too – until it poured down on our final day, but I think we did well having four days of sunshine.


The first day didn’t get off to a great start when my estate agent rang to say that my buyer had pulled out of my house sale. No reason why, she just changed her mind. After stringing me along for a month. So that was nice. I did my best not to let it get on my nerves too much but it did. So my BFF took our boys swimming and bowling so I could moan to myself for a couple of hours. Did the trick though.


We went to Herne Bay on our second day, taking obligatory bucket and spade – which didn’t really come in handy bearing in mind it was a pebble beach. Still, kids are weird – they were quite happy just throwing stones in the water for an hour. We then drove further up the coast to the main beach, ate fish and chips on the beach, slurped melting ice cream, read our books, made our boys play with something other than our mobile phones and did our best to relax.


herne bay


Until a football came flying over and landed on my head.


Which brings me to this …


Things That Annoy Me About The Beach:


1.         Seagull wankers


Not only did the seagulls wake us up every morning, to the point where we had to buy earplugs from Boots, but they are such cheeky bastards. They get a sniff of your chips (not a euphemism,) and they’re sticking their beaks in your business trying to eat your dinner right from your hand. Has to be said, it didn’t help that there was a moronic family next to us FEEDING the seagulls. All rather hilarious for them, as they left shortly afterwards, and we then had the ‘pleasure’ of the seagulls’ company for the next half hour.  Until … we may have encouraged the boys to run after the seagulls to keep them at bay.  What? It’s good exercise for them.


2.         People that sit too close


We were at the beach mid-week and there are much nicer beaches than the one we were sat on, so we weren’t surprised to see that we were only one of two families on the beach. So why the hell did the other family have to sit on top of us? All that open space and they choose to sit right next to us. I mean, I know we’re gorgeous … (cough) … but come on. As Jennifer Grey would say in Dirty Dancing: “This is my space. This is your space. Now let’s cha-cha.”


3.         Pebbles


Yes, the boys can entertain themselves by endlessly throwing stones in the sea … me … not so much. They’re uncomfortable to sit on, have no purpose other than to annoy and they’re a right bastard to walk on.


They do make for a nice Instagram picture though!



4.         Carrying stuff


The trouble with going to the beach is you just need so much STUFF. Towels, suncream, books, buckets, spades, nets, food, drink – it’s endless. Let alone bothering to take chairs .. I just wouldn’t have any arms left to carry them, let alone the crate of beer I really wanted to take.


5.         Kids who say they’re bored


This has to be my No. 1 bugbear – in general, but particularly at the beach. My friend and I found that sadly, our boys originally just wanted to sit with us and play on our phones. All. The. Time.


Until, of course, they got the good news that ALL technology was banned and they’d have to keep themselves entertained.  The look of consternation that crossed both their faces was worrying – it quickly became clear how dependent they’d become on phones and tablets, so this time away was great for pointing out, not only to Dexter, but to me, that I need to limit time spent on those devices and we should make more of a nature to get out and about.


(Disclaimer: when I’m driving, it’s OK for him to listen to The Harlem Shake on my phone using his earphones, so that I don’t have to.)


We had a great time. My BFF and I watched the boxset of Luther in bed like Hinge & Bracket (ask your parents,) we snuck popcorn past the kids so we didn’t have to share it, and we talked. And talked. And had BBQs on the beach every night. And watched the sun setting. And finally … finally … I relaxed.


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Published by Kate Sutton

Writer, Mother, Dater.

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  1. I bloody HATE people who feel the need to sit on top of you. Like idiots who parks their car right next to yours when there are a million other spaces. What’s up with that!? As for birds….!? Don’t even get me started.

    Would pay to see you strut your stuff on pebbles tho…….hahaha!

  2. First of all I have to say Whitstable is one of my fav places to go- so the noise of the seagulls doesn’t bother me but I do object to being mugged by them for my chips! Pebble beaches although lovely to look at piss me right off as my kids tend to through the stones at me instead of the sea and I’m left walking like John Wayne after sitting on them (pebbles not the kids)for any length of time 🙂
    Mum in Meltdown recently posted..Holidaying on the Isle of WightMy Profile

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