I am now officially on holiday for a week and as I sit here blogging from the toilet (shut up, you all do it,) I thought it was time for another online dating update.


Last week was rather busy dating wise. I had three dates on consecutive evenings – all very late nights (2 dates with the same guy I should point out.)


So, first up was a guy I went on one lunchtime date with last year. The timing wasn’t great – we were both going through it at the time – but I just remember thinking at the time that there was no real chemistry. He was a nice guy, we had a ‘nice’ drink, but .. I was ‘meh’ about the whole thing.


He has pretty much pursued me on and off ever since then. I’d get the occasional message via the dating site where we originally met, sporadic texts for the first few months and then it went quiet.  Until I got a message on the dating site last week from a man I don’t know … which turned out to be his friend. This guy told me his friend was trying to get in touch with me and, sure enough, my ex-date then messaged me using his friend’s account.


I was torn between thinking this guy was a mentalist stalker or whether I’d been too hasty. After all, he obviously felt there had been a connection – maybe it was at least worth talking to him again.


So I did. We chatted online, and then swapped numbers again (I had deleted his) and started to chat on and off for a week or so.


To say his circumstances had changed since I last met him would be an understatement – he’d had another baby with his ex! His baby was now 9 months old and, I kinda hate myself for saying it, but I really had to think about whether it was worth me even getting to know this man again. He was devoted to his baby – which was great! But … I couldn’t work out how he’d even have time to meet me, let alone anything else. I did like his dedication to his kids though, thought that was a lovely trait, and after we began chatting again I noticed a definite change from the man I met last year.


He assured me that the man I met last year wasn’t the real him. I could understand that … we’d both had a shit year, and so when he asked me out, I figured what the hell, why not. Except I couldn’t for the life of me (yet again) find a babysitter (mine had selfishly gone on holiday.) We tried to meet up a few times and it just wasn’t happening so, carpe diem and all that, I asked him round to mine that night.


I was nonchalant about the whole thing. Didn’t shave my legs (although tbh that’s not unheard of) or wash my hair. I did bath though you’d be pleased to know.


We’d arranged to meet at mine at 9.30pm – Dexter would be in bed by then and he’d put his baby to bed (at the ex’s.) However, he was late … and you know I hate that.  But he did turn up with a beautiful bouquet of flowers – not a carnation in sight – so I let him off. Oh, and he was gorgeous. Which helped.


He came in and sat on the sofa opposite mine (#sofa.) I didn’t remember from our last date, but he had this beautiful soft Jamaican lilt (not Lilt) and I was mesmerized by his voice. And biceps. He had big biceps.


We had a really nice evening catching up. Another one that loves talking … and quite frankly I’m happy to sit back and judge listen. And he was right .. he was a completely different person. Confident, funny, interesting, (hot) and I couldn’t take my eyes off his tight T shirt.


I knew what would happen next.


Sure enough, he ventured over to my leopard print sofa of love (#sofa) and kissed me. Bearing in mind we didn’t even shake hands the last time we met, this could have been a make or break kiss.


And what a kiss!


You know those perfect kisses where everything just fits perfectly? You each move in perfect synchronicity with the other person. No awkwardness … you just both instincintively know the other person’s mouth and where everything should go, so to speak.  Yeah, well, THAT!


He stayed until 3am and I could have chatted and kissed all night but the 42 year old in me reminded us both that we had work the next morning and we really should go to bed. Alone.


It’s early days and dating has taught me to be pessimistic about where these things lead. But this guy has told me how he feels already – I think it’s just up to me to try and learn how to open up a little.


Easier said than done if I’m honest. Which is probably why I chose to see Biscuit Man the following night …




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Published by Kate Sutton

Writer, Mother, Dater.

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  1. I am dating vicariously through you! This was a good one, more good ones please Ms. Kate

    I don’t need to date, I’m just nosey basically 😀

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