OK, so another online dating debacle.  We’ve covered the disappearance of Date 2 (Hippy/Aliens,) the appearance of Date 3 (Biscuit Man,) and discussed the sporadic appearances of Date 1 (Old Flame.)


There has now been an interesting turn of developments.


So … Old Flame came down to mine last weekend for another visit – our fourth meet I think.  It was his birthday so, even though I’ve been having major doubts, I felt like I couldn’t dump the guy on his birthday.  It’s depressing enough turning 48 as it is 🙂


So he finally rocked up at 4pm … late, a little sweaty but seemed happy to see me (obviously.)  Because it’s such a long drive to mine, we don’t seem to go out much – which is fair enough, I appreciate it must be knackering.  We just chilled in the garden again, played football with Dexter, picked cherries together and just had a pleasant afternoon.  What was particularly nice though is that it seemed he’d finally understood that I really needed him to open up a little more.  I’d had to have two ‘talks’ with him in the previous weeks, trying to explain that if ‘this’ was going to go anywhere we would (shock, horror) actually have to talk.  He never rang during the week and I’d be lucky to get one message a day.  It just wasn’t enough … for me at least.


So I appreciated him making an effort, we were actually having a decent conversation at last and, dare I say it, he seemed a lot more relaxed and fun.  I liked this new side of him!


After I put Dexter to bed, Old Flame popped to the Chinese to bring dinner back. We ate Chinese food whilst watching Superbad – sad to say, my idea of a top evening.


We went to bed and … had a jolly good chat. Several in fact!


And that was it really.  Another ‘really nice’ weekend.


But I didn’t feel one butterfly.  Not one iota of ‘I can’t bear to be without this man.’  No pang when he left.  I didn’t even bother to ask when I was going to see him again.


Yeah, suffice to say, the alarm bells were continuing to ring.  (No shit Sherlock.)


But … I did think that perhaps things were going to change.  That maybe, if he took on board the fact that if we had any chance of building a relationship he’d have to at least make some effort, it could work.  I could feel differently.


Yeah, that didn’t happen.


In fact, by the time he got back home, I heard from him even less than before.




I talked it all through with the BFF and I guess I finally verbalised that IT WAS JUST TOO MUCH DAMN EFFORT.  Followed swiftly with “I CBA” and “Let’s go to the pub.”


He hadn’t taken anything I’d said on board and, bearing in mind it was his idea to get back in touch and declare undying love, he had a funny way of showing it.


I didn’t hear from him in the next 24 hours.  Nothing.  So I sent him a message the next day saying, “So I’m thinking none of what I said at the weekend made any sense?”  He got a bit shitty asking if I was just pissed off I hadn’t heard from him since he got back.  Err, yeah!


I became resigned to the fact that it wasn’t going to work so just didn’t reply and then found myself on a boat party.  As you do.


Then he had the nerve to text, “Silent Treatment!


FFS.  The man’s 48!


I pointed out he didn’t really have any room to complain about me not getting in touch.


He told me to enjoy my boat trip.  (Which I did.  Thanks.)


Which brings me to the day ofter.  And I received this text: “Been thinking last night this isn’t working think we should go our separate ways” … and all I could think was …




So … that’s that. Am I upset?  A little, but only insofar as it could have worked had he just put his money where his mouth was and made more effort in getting to know me.  I think the issue is that he couldn’t forget the woman I was (granted, once you’ve met me it’s hard to forget me,) but I’ve changed since then. A lot. Personally, I think for the best – less likely to put up with a big bag o’ shite, more open, more sure of who I am.


I don’t think he liked who I’d become.


Ho hum.  More fish in the sea blah blah.




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Published by Kate Sutton

Writer, Mother, Dater.

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  1. Oh bugger, but you’re right not to waste any more time on him. And the lack of punctuation would have pissed me off too. X

  2. I can’t believe he was such a numpty to not make more of an effort!
    Atleast you won’t wonder ‘what if’ – you gave home a good chance.
    So …. Biscuit man – he shows promise, what with the biscuits and all?

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