I have an appointment with a solicitor next week so that I can get some divorce advice.  (I don’t know what they call it when you ‘only’ co-habited – certainly felt like I was marriedFor a very long time.)

 

Anyway, I’ve been offered a free half hour consultation, which won’t be nearly long enough.  However, when you’re quoted £200 per hour by a local solicitor, I figured I’d go the free route, at least at first.  I just need to ask as many questions as I can within half an hour – machine gun style.

 

It’s been 22 years since I was married.  SUCH a long time ago.  We were, of course, far too young to get married (and I’m sure he’d agree,) but it’s hard to regret something when you have such a beautiful son as a result of a past relationship.

 

And I don’t regret it.  He was my first love and I went into that marriage with every good intention.  It just didn’t work out and I still think that’s a little sad.

 

Still, we’ve both moved on and now it’s really hard to imagine ever getting married again.  Hell, at this rate, it’s hard to even imagine ever having a boyfriend again.  But I wonder … is getting married later in life really worth it?  Is it worth the expense?  The stress?  The hassle?  Once you’ve had your fingers burnt, what really is there to gain from getting married again?

 

I may sound cynical, and it’s obviously not something I need to worry about just yet …. (or for the next 10 years,) … but I just don’t see the point.

 

I’ve tried very hard not to become bitter from either of my two long term relationships because personally, I don’t believe that’s any use to anyone.  Not to my kids, future boyfriends, and especially not to myself.  But it’s not easy.  When things haven’t worked out, it’s really quite hard not to carry baggage from one relationship into another.  But I think I’m doing OK.  Especially as things are particularly difficult with my current ex … and I think I’m doing alright.

 

I’m focused on a job I love, trying hard to bring Dexter up on my own and my plan to Take Over The World is coming along nicely.

 

Be kinda nice to share it all with someone though.

 

 

 

 

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Published by Kate Sutton

Writer, Mother, Dater.

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6 Comments

  1. Well, been there and done it …. I thought I would never re-marry. My ex-wife slept for 6 months with my best mate, who lived as our lodger.. to be betrayed by two people you ‘love’ … you think there is no way back …. and I am not bitter, I now have, like you, the perfect son… and I think a great 2nd marriage… learnt lots of lessons (namely, don’t have a lodger) … and take the positives from the 1st marriage, like you, was entered into with all the right intentions ..

  2. I love your ‘better not bitter’ idea.

    My brother was divorced a long time ago and got back together with teenage girlfriend, but the baggage nearly broke them apart. Suddenly though, after we’d had a conversation about the guilt he felt about his first marriage and helped him put it to one side, he announced that they were getting married.

    So at 59 he got married again last summer and it was wonderful. I think that it’s mainly about showing her that he really loves and is committed to her, and for them to have companionship or someone to share with – otherwise he was likely to become an eccentric old man with his dog in a cabin in cornwall!

    You are gorgeous and will find someone, but it’s going to have to be a special someone. He’s out there, I’m sure. It’s just that he won’t be ‘run of the mill ordinary’ that’s all, so it might take a while to find him.
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    1. Thanks so much for your comment Lisa as not only is that such a lovely story about your brother but, after last night’s date, you’ve clarified something for me because I agree … the next man in my life is going to have to be very special indeed 🙂

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