Image: Google credit
As Easter Bank Holiday comes to an end, and Dexter is (finally) in bed, I have time to sit and reflect on what a complete bag of arsewipes men are.
OK, OK, I’m generalising somewhat, but suffice to say, it’s not been a great week on the man front. From the mildly successful date with a man I dated once last year, only for him to say, “You’re not really my type – but I just wanted to make sure,” (didn’t hear him complain when he had his tongue down my throat and his hand up my jumper,) to the complete douchebags on the internet. And that’s where I WILL generalise … because quite frankly, I can’t really remember anyone I’ve met on the internet who hasn’t turned out to be a tool.
Some of you may think that I’m the problem (as if,) but when the same things happen to my best friend and other women I know on dating sites, I know where I’m pointing the finger. (IT’S AT ALL MEN BY THE WAY.)
I’m not a man-hater. Unfortunately, on the contrary … would be a whole lot easier if I was lesbionic … (although my lesbian friends disagree,) but when I relay the following ‘conversation’ I had with a man this weekend, you will hopefully begin to see my point. If not, I can easily direct you to where all my previous dating posts are secretly hidden on the internet!
Now, as an introductory message goes, I don’t think I’ve had worse and for those of you that know me well, I bet you can guess what my reply was. Five points if you were right:
By this time, I was mildly irritated. I had hoped that he’d just go away but unfortunately, I seemed to have awoken the inner fucktard in him:
“Tech?” OK, we’ve established he can’t spell. But what is really getting on my last nerve is this … *serious face.* I have joined a dating site to date. Pretty revolutionary right? My life is pretty hectic and being a single mum … well, you know the story. It’s just difficult meeting men the conventional way. So I’ve turned to the internet. And it feels like I’m being punished for it.
Not all men speak like this particular example, but it’s sad to say that a lot do. I shit ye not. BUT … I should point out that the sites I’ve joined have been FREE sites … I would hope that other PAID sites are different. Although I’ve been told they’re not. But hey.
I didn’t join a dating site to have sex (TMI, sorry,) nor do I particularly want ANYONE to beat my mouth with their cock. Call me old fashioned if you will. But what I do expect is some modicum of respect. Clearly, I wasn’t going to get it from this person:
The conversation continued for another few messages before I got bored. I asked him if his mother knew he talked that way to women and then I realised I was wasting my breath.
Talking to a man like I’m his mother is not sexy. Equally, being spoken to like I’m a ho is not sexy either. So I’m at a crossroads, as is my best friend. We are tired of internet dating – as entertaining as it is for everyone else – but where do we go to find interesting, smart, (HOT) single men that we can at least just become friends with? Anything more would be a miracle at this rate.
We need a Plan B. But Catfish is on so it’ll have to wait. (Yes, I get the irony.)
All suggestions welcome!