Image:  Google credit


As Easter Bank Holiday comes to an end, and Dexter is (finally) in bed, I have time to sit and reflect on what a complete bag of arsewipes men are.


OK, OK, I’m generalising somewhat, but suffice to say, it’s not been a great week on the man front.  From the mildly successful date with a man I dated once last year, only for him to say, “You’re not really my type – but I just wanted to make sure,”  (didn’t hear him complain when he had his tongue down my throat and his hand up my jumper,) to the complete douchebags on the internet.  And that’s where I WILL generalise … because quite frankly, I can’t really remember anyone I’ve met on the internet who hasn’t turned out to be a tool.


Some of you may think that I’m the problem (as if,) but when the same things happen to my best friend and other women I know on dating sites, I know where I’m pointing the finger.  (IT’S AT ALL MEN BY THE WAY.)


I’m not a man-hater.  Unfortunately, on the contrary … would be a whole lot easier if I was lesbionic … (although my lesbian friends disagree,) but when I relay the following ‘conversation’ I had with a man this weekend, you will hopefully begin to see my point.  If not, I can easily direct you to where all my previous dating posts are secretly hidden on the internet!


Exhibit A:



Now, as an introductory message goes, I don’t think I’ve had worse and for those of you that know me well, I bet you can guess what my reply was.  Five points if you were right:




By this time, I was mildly irritated.  I had hoped that he’d just go away but unfortunately, I seemed to have awoken the inner fucktard in him:



“Tech?”  OK, we’ve established he can’t spell.   But what is really getting on my last nerve is this … *serious face.*  I have joined a dating site to date.  Pretty revolutionary right?  My life is pretty hectic and being a single mum … well, you know the story.  It’s just difficult meeting men the conventional way.  So I’ve turned to the internet.  And it feels like I’m being punished for it.


Not all men speak like this particular example, but it’s sad to say that a lot do.  I shit ye not.  BUT … I should point out that the sites I’ve joined have been FREE sites … I would hope that other PAID sites are different.  Although I’ve been told they’re not.  But hey.


I didn’t join a dating site to have sex (TMI, sorry,) nor do I particularly want ANYONE to beat my mouth with their cock.  Call me old fashioned if you will.  But what I do expect is some modicum of respect.  Clearly, I wasn’t going to get it from this person:


twat 2


The conversation continued for another few messages before I got bored.  I asked him if his mother knew he talked that way to women and then I realised I was wasting my breath.


Talking to a man like I’m his mother is not sexy.  Equally, being spoken to like I’m a ho is not sexy either.  So I’m at a crossroads, as is my best friend.  We are tired of internet dating – as entertaining as it is for everyone else – but where do we go to find interesting, smart, (HOT) single men that we can at least just become friends with?  Anything more would be a miracle at this rate.


We need a Plan B.  But Catfish is on so it’ll have to wait.  (Yes, I get the irony.)


All suggestions welcome!

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Published by Kate Sutton

Writer, Mother, Dater.

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  1. This post could not have come at a better time for me, having just this evening broken up with a guy I met online. We’ve been seeing each other four months, and in that time he has been the epitome of good manners, respect and generally being a gentleman. Tonight I broached the subject of ‘us’ and more specifically ‘where we’re going’, only to be told he won’t commit to a relationship. So, WHY join a dating site then?! And why string me along for four months if you know it’s not going anywhere?! I mean, Jesus. What a colossal waste of time and energy. I realise this little anecdote does nothing to help you discover a new way to meet men, but take comfort from the fact that idiots and twats come in all forms, not just the illiterate sexual predator form. And if you get any good tips on where to find non-dickheads, let a girl know would ya?! xxx

    1. I do take comfort from knowing that twatty men come in all forms, thanks 🙂 Sorry yours turned out to be a timewaster. Bloody irritating isn’t it?! and girl, I will HOOK YOU UP … if I ever find anyone decent! x

  2. I loved Internet dating! I thougt it was hilarious when bad and wonderful when good. Ok, so there was one guy who, after two dates and him telling me it wasn’t working out (that’ll be because I’ve been ignoring your calls, ha), asked me if I wanted to get together on a f*£k buddy basis. Thanks, but no.

    Waaay back in 2003ish I tried Internet dating for a month – back then it was way more unusual and I met mostly social rejects, poor lambs!

    Two of the strongest and happiest couples I know got married in 2011/12 and both met through Internet dating.

    I also met the man I’m marrying later this year through so you won’t hear me complaining.

  3. Oh no I had just plucked up courage to go back on line again. You’ve put me right off now

    1. Oh no … please don’t let this put you off. I should have stipulated that these are FREE sites – we just can’t afford the ‘better’ ones! You should at least try it out and see if you have better luck than me!

  4. Hi Kate 🙂

    I’ve also recently delved into the world of internet dating so this post did make me chuckle. I’ve got some cracking stories, not sure they will ever appear on my blog but yes its a bloody minefield. I’m fed up with it too. If you can manage to persevere I believe their are some normal, kind, hot guys there (I may have just found myself one, time will tell!) but they are few and far between. It seems the most are sex obsessed, non committal odd balls hahaha! Please let me know if you find out where the good single guys are hiding out xxx
    Mummylish recently posted..Do you remember? 90s nostalgiaMy Profile

    1. Hey! Well .. it’s good to know that it CAN work – but where are they all bloody hiding? Sane, hot, single men are like the ever elusive perfect plus size dress – impossible to find! x

  5. I really hope you don’t meet any more of these fucktards, they’re such a waste of space. since when is it okay to text that kind of shit to people? I’ve never internet dated but I know a couple of people who did – both through match and one got married (but is subsequently divorced) and the other is still very happy with her partner. Hang in there! You’re too good for all those idiots!
    I Heart Motherhood recently posted..Easter Egg Trail at National Trust Polesden LaceyMy Profile

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