I have a confession to make.  I have a real penchant for trash TV.  No amount of wearing intelligent looking glasses can disguise this fact.

But very occasionally, along comes a programme that even I find too tasteless to watch.  (Granted, I will pretty much watch anything.)  The last time I saw anything this bad was when I accidentally turned on the tripe that was Bridalplasty.  Yup, that programme really is as bad as it sounds.

So Would You Dump Me Now? can be found lurking in the mid-late 200’s on Sky … somewhere between the Food Network Channel (which I LOVE,) and the keep fit programmes, (hmmm … not so much.)  It is quite possibly the crassest, the trashiest, the most pointless programme I think I’ve ever seen.  And believe me, I’ve seen a lot!

Let me set the scene.  Firstly, t’s presented by two women you may never have heard of.  And quite rightly so.  Lizzie Cundy (I think I spelt that right …) and Sue Moxley are footballer’s wives.  Sue is also a make-up artist I’ve been told.  I won’t comment on their appearance, but let’s just say that they’re not … natural presenters.  Could I do a better job?  Possibly.  But then I think Dexter would do a better job.  And he’s seven.

The premise of the programme is that a woman has been unceremoniously dumped by a man and she wants to show him, by means of a make-over and ridiculously inane pep talks by the presenters, that she’s better off without him.  She’s primped and preened, often given plastic surgery(!) and now she looks really hot and look what he’s missing.

That’s it.

That really is what the show is.

I’m not kidding!

It makes The Bachelor look like Newsnight.  Jersey Shore look like University Challenge.  The Only Way is Essex look like The Politics Show.  Big Brother look like … you get the picture.

I understand people needing closure on a relationship.  I understand the need for … well … understanding, so that you can move on with your life.  But is getting a new haircut and outing your ex on TV really going to achieve that?  What happened to self respect?

Moving on after a broken relationship takes a whole lot more than that.  It’s hard!  And fundamentally, it takes time to build up your confidence again.  Anyone that’s ever had a broken heart knows this.  *raises hand*

Karma’s a bitch.  If you’ve been shat upon from a great height, chances are, he’ll get his.  Eventually.

Personally, I can’t think of anything worse than duping an ex to go on television to show him how ‘hot’ I look now I’m no longer with him.   (That’s not to say I’ve always behaved rationally when I’ve been hurt!)

This week’s episode ended with the pixelated face of an overweight, middle-aged businessman telling his ex, who had tricked him into meeting her (post nose job and newly curled hair,) that “He just doesn’t fancy her anymore.”  She handled it much more calmly than I would have and just kept repeating, “But why did you do it?”  The ‘it’ she was referring to was, amongst other things, his love of posting photos of himself naked on dating websites.  Which is nice.

A real catch eh?

As a viewer, I was left feeling awkward and embarrassed.  Imagine how she felt!  Was it really worth the free haircut?

Of course, he came out looking like a prize twunt … but then we never saw his face … so what was the point?

I wonder if she got closure?  I wonder if it was worth it?

The only problem with trash TV though?  It’s very, very addictive.


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Published by Kate Sutton

Writer, Mother, Dater.

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