I love London.  Not such a fan when I commuted between Kent and London for nigh on twenty years mind you, but I love going back to visit now.  Being such an avid people watcher, I take great pleasure in catching the tube (death by B.O. and claustrophobia aside) and last week, I got the opportunity to travel by tube a lot – primarily because I completely cocked up the route and ended up in the completely wrong place.

I digress. 

The tube was busy and it was standing room only.  Having travelled on the tube whilst pregnant before I was well aware that it’s a relatively uncommon occurrence for someone to give up their seat for a pregnant woman, let alone anyone else, and contented myself with giving all the men sitting down dirty looks.  I didn’t really.  (Well I did, a bit.)

And then I suddenly thought – what if someone did give up their seat for me … because they thought I was pregnant!

I quickly sucked in my stomach.  I haven’t seen my feet for 25 years as it is (genetically ‘blessed,’) but it had always been because of the ‘girls,’ not my stomach.  Was I over-reacting?  Being overly sensitive?  Moi???

In a word, yes.  I’m so used to hating that part of my body (even more than my bingo wings,) that I’m pretty paranoid about it now.  I’m convinced people are staring at it.  They’re not.  I’m pretty sure they’re not, but when the people sat down on the tube started looking at me, I was convinced they all thought my mummy tummy was incubating quads.  (For the record, it’s not.)

I couldn’t hold my breath for much longer and figured, what the hell – if someone offers their seat because they think I’m pregnant, I’m gonna take it!  My feet ache.

Of course they didn’t.  They didn’t when I was eight months pregnant eight years ago and they didn’t now.  Ho hum.

After breathing a sigh of relief, I suddenly realised.  After having listened to my Thinking Slimmer CDs, I’ve actually gone down a size in my jeans and my stomach isn’t nearly as prominent as it was before.  I gave myself a mental high five/slap round the chops, hoisted my jeans up, got my pout on and swaggered off the tube.

Still at the completely wrong stop.

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Published by Kate Sutton

Writer, Mother, Dater.

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8 Comments

  1. ooh I’ve always had issues with tubes and have a pet hate with those baby on board badges but that’s another story!
    I’m sure everyone was taking stolen glances at your stunning hair! Well done on dropping a jeans size!

  2. First of all, well done on dropping a jeans size!!
    Nobody gave up their seat for me when I was pregnant either. I have a friend, who was offered a seat at 7months pregnant and someone else stepped in and swiped it right from under her nose. He said he needed it more than her as he had a bad back. She argued loudly with him on the tube until finally someone else got up and offered her seat. I have another non-pregnant friend who pushes her belly out and rubs her back to make people think that she is pregnant in the hope she’ll get a seat on the tube.
    However, I digress.
    If anyone was looking at you it is because you are a GODDESS, not because they think you might be up the duff.
    Great post!
    Smudgerella recently posted..New York, New YorkMy Profile

  3. Too funny…yeah I wonder if anyone HAS really died on the tube and the verdict was : BO Asphixiation. Congrats on losing some stomach flab! I have abs of steel myself…just very well hidden abs of steel!

  4. Well done lady for going down a dress size. You are beautiful and sexy and if anyone’s staring, that’s why. No one gives seats on the tube-not to the pregnant, disabled, elderly. The upside is London is fabulous and you are only a short train away. Vx

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