I love London. Not such a fan when I commuted between Kent and London for nigh on twenty years mind you, but I love going back to visit now. Being such an avid people watcher, I take great pleasure in catching the tube (death by B.O. and claustrophobia aside) and last week, I got the opportunity to travel by tube a lot – primarily because I completely cocked up the route and ended up in the completely wrong place.
The tube was busy and it was standing room only. Having travelled on the tube whilst pregnant before I was well aware that it’s a relatively uncommon occurrence for someone to give up their seat for a pregnant woman, let alone anyone else, and contented myself with giving all the men sitting down dirty looks. I didn’t really. (Well I did, a bit.)
And then I suddenly thought – what if someone did give up their seat for me … because they thought I was pregnant!
I quickly sucked in my stomach. I haven’t seen my feet for 25 years as it is (genetically ‘blessed,’) but it had always been because of the ‘girls,’ not my stomach. Was I over-reacting? Being overly sensitive? Moi???
In a word, yes. I’m so used to hating that part of my body (even more than my bingo wings,) that I’m pretty paranoid about it now. I’m convinced people are staring at it. They’re not. I’m pretty sure they’re not, but when the people sat down on the tube started looking at me, I was convinced they all thought my mummy tummy was incubating quads. (For the record, it’s not.)
I couldn’t hold my breath for much longer and figured, what the hell – if someone offers their seat because they think I’m pregnant, I’m gonna take it! My feet ache.
Of course they didn’t. They didn’t when I was eight months pregnant eight years ago and they didn’t now. Ho hum.
After breathing a sigh of relief, I suddenly realised. After having listened to my Thinking Slimmer CDs, I’ve actually gone down a size in my jeans and my stomach isn’t nearly as prominent as it was before. I gave myself a mental high five/slap round the chops, hoisted my jeans up, got my pout on and swaggered off the tube.
Still at the completely wrong stop.