When I was a child, I dreamt I could fly. I mean, properly fly.  I dreamt I had huge, white, feathery wings and my dreams were so vivid I’d wake up with the feeling that I’d been soaring through the air all night.

 

An incident at work yesterday, thirty five years on, made me wonder whether the time was right for my dream to come true.  You see, as I was stirring my cup of coffee, I heard an unfamiliar flapping sound.  I stopped stirring, looked around and the noise stopped.  I stirred my coffee again, and the flapping noise began again.

 

That’s weird, I thought.  Had a bird flown into the office without me noticing? (Granted, slightly unlikely.)  Or had I finally grown the wings I’d always wanted?!  Better late than never!  (Although again, a bit weird.)

 

And then it slowly dawned on me.  Having earlier taken off my cardigan, I slowly looked down at my arms and there they were.

 

I slowly put my spoon down, drops of black coffee slowly dripping over my keyboard, whilst inside my head I was screaming, “WHOA!!!!  LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THE SIZE OF MY BINGO WINGS!!!”

(Excuse me while I compose myself.

… a double vodka later …)

 

What the …?  Where the hell did they come from?! I could actually take flight with those bad boys!

 

I mean, I know I’m a .. *cough* .. fuller figured woman and all but I go to the gym.  (What??  I do!!!)   I have been known to work on my triceps/wings on occasion  … and  I do enough housework to have arms like Jennifer Aniston for God’s sake!

 

So what’s the deal?  I’m 41, my body has been through two pregnancies and my weight has yo-yo’ed for years – so what do I expect?

 

So, Operation Bingo Wing has begun!*

 

Who’s with me?!

 

* Haven’t exactly decided what this entails yet.  Picking up a pint of beer is exercise, right?

 

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Published by Kate Sutton

Writer, Mother, Dater.

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7 Comments

  1. Ahh. The bingo wing. I’m afraid I’m rather familiar with that little phenomenon myself. I kill myself doing a Davina DVD with a whole arm section but I’m much preferring the sound of your raising of a pint glass approach 😉

  2. ooh I’m with you there. I tried doing a press up program I found online and I think at the moment I can manage about 7 press ups (pathetic but true). Personally I blame the weight of my boobage on my paultry press ups rather than my lack of strength. The programme promises to get you to 100 in 6 weeks. I’ll find the link and send it to you!

    Lets all get Aniston Arms by summer?!
    Circusmum recently posted..Explaining the Birds and the Bees to a ToddlerMy Profile

  3. I think it was Joan rivers who said no woman over the age of 40 should wave goodbye! I’m 35 but and have started to notice mine

  4. Hi, I love your WIT ! I have Lipodema, look it up..its a bummer!
    I can help you girls out on the Bingo wingz front though, or at least until you have the upper arms you desire.. Wingz ! Ever heard of them?
    Well I designed them, They cover the BW stylishly and are cool unlike the shrug and cardis.. I even have ones that women wear for exercising in, they used to wear a long sleeved top under a vest but got too hot, these are the jannar and lyla Wingz. Have a look..
    If any of you are interested I can try get a discount code just for this site?

    OK the code is WITWITWOO x this is for 15% off .
    Keep up the fight xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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