This is my first entry for KateTakes5‘s Listography meme and considering the nature of yesterday’s post, which was about … well … read it here for full, graphic details …. I figured, in for a penny and decided to come clean about some of my guilty pleasures.

(For the record, I too love Super Noodles Reluctant Housedad.  We finally agree on something.  That, and the fact that I too like big butts and I cannot lie.)

So, off we go … 

1. Riverdance

Yes, *that* Riverdance.  Ever since I took my Mum to see the live show when it first came to London, I’ve been hooked.  No hang on, ever since I saw them on the Royal Variety Show.  No hang on … ever since I saw them on Eurovision.  I was hooked.  Suffice to say, I’m a fan.  The CD is on repeat in my car much to the chagrin of both children, particularly the teen.  I think, however, I may have sufficiently brainwashed my youngest into actually liking it.   Bit like Chinese water torture.  I try to explain it to my Other Half but fail every time.  “It’s just I love that folky shit, y’know,” doesn’t really sum up the feeling I get when I hear the first few taps.  It reminds me of three things I love:  Mum, formation dancing and drinking in Irish bars.  What’s not to love?!

2. Barefoot Contessa

For those uninitiated, Barefoot Contessa is a TV cookery show and the brainchild of the Goddess that is Ina Garten.   I heart Ina.  She lives in the Hamptons see.  And she loves Jeffrey.  A lot.  It’s like no other cooking show I’ve ever seen (and I’ve seen a lot!)  Part of the show is deciding how she’s going to decorate her table.  What flowers she’ll have.  Will she have a square or round table?  Who knows?!  That’s part of the excitement!  What gay friend will she cook for?  Will she break into Frank and Stephen’s house to make them mac & cheese for their return from holiday? (Yes.)   Or will she make fillet steak for her gay friend (who she so obviously lusts after,) TI (who appeared on Sex & The City!)? (Yes.)  Or will she bake a massive cake just for her and Jeffrey to eat?  Probably.

Or will she call up Michael – seemingly the only florist in the Hamptons – for more orange tulips (her favourite flowers see!)  Of course!  She does it every week and that’s another reason why I love her.

Whether she’s throwing an ‘impromptu’ bbq on the beach for a friend’s birthday (complete with massive yukka plants some poor bugger’s had to drag down,) or making garlic bread for her boss, she pretty much makes the biggest portions I’ve ever seen, includes oil, butter and cream in everything she does and I suspect this may also be why I love her.

3.  Eating Revels in bed

It’s a dirty, dirty habit and probably the only one I’d admit to.  They keep me company in bed when my Other Half is working away.  I love everything from the easy to open bag (although I never bother with the handy sticky tab because I eat them in one go,) to the excitement about never knowing what you’re going to get next, to the pure joy of finding a chocolate covered toffee.  The only downside?  You know it.  I know it.  That damned coffee cream.  But nothing’s perfect and I’m prepared to roll with the punches.  Because they’re worth it.  At least they got rid of the coconut one and sometimes, playing Revel Roulette is as hardcore as I get.

I wake up somewhat bilious but nothing a slice of peanut butter on toast won’t sort out.  Crunchy of course.

4. Food Network Channel

I’m sensing a theme here.  For me, Food Network Channel really shines from 10pm onwards.  I have a couple of friends who totally know where I’m coming from (you know who you are!).    In descending order of preference, we have:

iii.            Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives

Or ‘Triple D’ to true fans.  Presented by the spiky peroxide headed twat presenter, Guy Fieri, we’re taken on a journey of all the best small town eateries across America.  The food pretty much comprises of burgers, hot dogs and chilli but we’re occasionally treated to pancakes, big pancakes and pulled pork.  I love pulled pork.  Just saying.

ii.            Cupcake Wars

It’s a war.  With cupcakes.  It’s Cupcake Wars.

i.            Food Network Challenge

I know I’m beginning to sound like a real freak, but I don’t care.   I love this programme.  Basically, a group of cooks (sometimes professional, sometimes amateur,) are given a cooking challenge and the winner gets a massive amount of money, just for baking the best cake or burger.  Burgers seem to feature a lot in these shows.  The challenges that take place in the TV studio are normally cake related.  We have:

Best Halloween Cake

Surprise 16th Birthday Cake

Disneyland Celebration Cake

Dr Seuss Challenge Cake  (WTF?)

Disney Villains (they love Disney they do)

Wedding Cakes

You get the picture … for every celebration, they’ll make a TV show out of it.  And I love them all.  They are normally given eight hours to make the cake and there’s an audience that actually sits through the filming for the whole eight hours just hoping, praying, that one of the cakes will collapse as it’s moved from the kitchen to the judging table.  Invariably it does, which just makes me love the show all the more.

But the best, best, BEST challenge I ever saw, was a national championship that everyone in America could enter – the National Pie Championship.

I promise you, these things do exist.  Not only that, but the monetary prizes given will amaze you.  In fact, after reading this, I guarantee you will want to go and get your bake on.  Suffice to say, the winner of the ‘Best Chicken Dish’ received $100,000.  Yeah, that many noughts.

Back to pies … we had the best apple pie, the best cherry pie, the best strawberry pie, (strawberry pie wha?) … coconut cream pie, key lime pie … mmmm …. just lots and lots of pies.

5.  Housewives of Orange County

This is a new guilty pleasure of mine.  It takes trashy daytime TV to the nth degree.  The programme revolves around a group of over-blonde, over-boobed, rich women in Orange County who spend all day blow drying their big hair, hating on each other, gossiping, falling out, making up, drinking wine, crying, slagging their rich-assed husbands off, making babies, flashing their cleavage, designing Primark looking dresses and selling them for thousands, divorcing, re-marrying and basically …. just being dickheads.

I may, or may not, have series linked it.

Bonus guilty pleasure …. Al Fresco Shenanigans

Read here.  That is all.

 

If you would like to laugh at everyone else’s offerings, head over to the Listography and guffaw at them all.  Then share your own. So I can laugh at yours.

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Published by Kate Sutton

Writer, Mother, Dater.

8 replies on “Listography: 5 Guilty Pleasures”

  1. Well, my Heimlich Maneouvring friend, youu are rapidly apporaching the description ‘Perfect Woman’. I love Barefoot Contessa – the gentlre caress of her manner, her sausage-like fingers. I even have a cookbook of hers. Must dig it out. Not sure abut HWOSC, though. Look a bit skinny to me 🙂

    1. Ah … the illusive Perfect Woman moniker …. one day my friend, one day. She does have sausage fingers doesn’t she. And we’re forever screaming ‘get a room!’ at the screen whenever she tongues Jeffrey. The HWOSC woman are atrocious. Fact.

  2. Lol, they are definitely guilty pleasures. I love Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives

    But Riverdance … nooooo!!!

  3. I heart Ina too, she’s just so comfy and makes everything look perfect! Have to admit to the odd sneak at Real Housewives, Orange County, New York & Beverley Hills…

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