Oooh I love a good meme I do. I’ve been tagged by Penny from Alexander Residence alongside fellow slattern, Elsie from Babylon Lane Tales. The gig is I show the world the contents of my fridge, everyone judges me for being a dirty scumbag (unlike these ladies who no doubt Cillit Banged all night,) (they will deny this of course,) but I’ve left my fridge in it’s natural state – a bloody mess.
Do your worst. Let’s DO THIS!
Just one thing … I do have to preface the following by saying this – yes, it might look a mess … because it is … but it is clean. Kinda. Just hold your breath when you open the door.
Moving swiftly on. Key points to note are as follows:
1. Eggs: There are exactly eleventy billion eggs in our fridge. I’d love to say they’re organic and free range. They’re not. I’m unemployed. That shit is the first to go.
2. Butter: You might notice that there are copious tubs of butter (see here for tales of my passionate affair with butter – and no, not in a Last Tango in Paris type way.) I refuse to buy anything other than Lurpak. I’m a butter snob. There, I said it. It’s £2.80 per tub, but the children don’t mind not eating for a few days. (I kid, I kid!!!) When it goes on special offer, I practically orgasm in the Tescos aisle … all rather embarrassing, but it was two tubs for £4! Do love a bargain me.
3. McDonalds Apple Pie: I took my kids and nieces to Bluewater yesterday (that’s how much I love them,) and my son won an apple pie! Woohoo! Who needs a new car, or a trip to the Maldives, right!? I got me a pie.
4. Champagne: This bottle has been chilling, ready for a special occasion, since 1998.
5. Half a cucumber: I’m surprised it hasn’t turned into cucumber slush yet. It will.
6. Mini pots of jam: My Other Half stayed at a B&B for work and would come home every Friday laden with pots of preserves. It’s only the skanky marmalade that’s left. Who needs flowers eh!
7. Piriton: I’m allergic to bees (spawn of the devil,) and my throat swells up if I get stung – not a good look. Piriton sits alongside Pepto Bismol, Calpol and even some insulin (none of us are diabetic – go figure.)
8. Miscellaneous: Strawberries, egg mayonnaise (more eggs!), no milk (teen drank it all – again,) tomatoes, salsa, chocolate biscuits and a lego model. Of course .. there’s a Lego model in the fridge – it’s everywhere else in the house.
So there you have it. Naturally, all the healthy stuff is hidden in the salad drawer (along with the cream cakes.) I’ve seen worse but I am featured on next week’s Grimebusters – fame at last!
As for who I’m going to tag … for now, just one shout out to the lovely Mary at Lincoln And Me … she’s rather gorgeous and wonderful and I imagine she has a fridge full of caviar and champagne! 🙂