I’m not a morning person.  I live with three people who can testify to that.  I function, but I’m not really awake until … ooh about midday.  On a good day.  It’s not that I need ten cups of coffee to wake me up.   I just need more sleep.   Quite simple.

Talking of simple … this morning’s faux pas would have seen me bypass all auditions, pass Go, collect £200 and appear on the next series of Tool Academy. 

To set the scene a little … I don’t go to bed very early anymore.  I seem to find myself writing into the small hours as there just don’t seem to be enough hours in the day to get everything else done.  So last night, I went to bed at 12 – pretty early for me, and set my alarm for 5.45, to get my Other Half to the train station in time.

I semi-knew I’d snoozed the alarm too many times.  But you know when you’re just so tired you don’t give a toss?  Yeah, that.   So, in my defence m’lud, I was running really late.

I first realised something was wrong when I was looking for my OH’s trainers to pack into his bag.  Everything looked murky.  His trainers are bright orange – why couldn’t I see them!  And then I started to panic.

I couldn’t see.  I kept blinking (I like blinking I do,) but it wouldn’t clear.   Visions of visiting my Nan in Moorfields hospital when she had her cataracts removed came flooding back.  Had I inherited cataracts overnight?  Was that possible?

I felt for my glasses, just to make sure I’d actually put them on.  They’re never the cleanest of glasses and so perhaps they just needed a wipe (please God, let the glasses just be dirty – please don’t make me have to have my eyes clamped open and my eyeballs lasered!)

As I reached for my glasses, they somehow felt different.

And then I realised what I’d done.  In my haste to get out of bed, I’d reached for my glasses on my bedside cabinet and … put on my sunglasses instead of my reading glasses.

Moral of the story?  Step away from the laptop and go the hell to bed.


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Published by Kate Sutton

Writer, Mother, Dater.