I’m an easy-going kinda woman … WHAT? I AM! Most of the time. But sometimes, just sometimes things happen that really grind my gears. I wanted to say ‘boil my piss’ but I’m trying to be polite here. So, as I’m suffering, I thought you should too. I’m surprised I stopped at 13 to be honest …

 

1. Hun/Hunni/Chick/Babe

 

And every other permutation of those types of words. Everyone does it, hell, if I don’t catch myself, even I do it. But just stop it.

 

2. People who don’t indicate

 

Just. How. Hard. Is. It. To. Indicate. When. You. Turn. A. Bloody. Corner? I mostly drive during the day so .. old people. But Audi drivers are just as bad (they really are twats of the highest order.) It’s just so bloody dangerous – how lazy do you have to be to not just flick a switch that is literally 2mm from where your hands are already?

 

3. Sports bras

 

I’m a big girl, with big girls, and I need all the support I can get. (“Come on Kate!”) But here’s the problem. I need a bra that is going to keep them locked into place so they can’t move, which often means going down a size, which then means dislocating your shoulder or slipping a disc just to be able to get into the damn thing. The amount of times I’ve pulled a muscle just getting a sports bra on is ridiculous, it’s a workout in itself.

 

4. Theresa May’s face

 

Enough said. Someone online referred to her as a knackered old goat, which sums her up.

 

5. Shop assistants who put my change on the counter

 

OK, we’re getting into the really petty ones now, but when I hand my money or loyalty card over to a shop assistant, I always put it in their hand, not on the counter. I find it really rude when they return my change/card and put it on the counter. That’s extra time picking it up I don’t have! (All 0.2 seconds of it.)

 

6. People making/taking calls at the gym

 

This point is why I made this post because three days on, I’m still fuming. So there I was, in the spin studio, along with another random fella, both minding our own business, working hard, headphones in (it wasn’t a class), when in bowls this bloke, BOLD AS BRASS, chatting away on his phone! He’d come into our studio to take a phone call and (DON’T MIND US), paced up and down in front of the mirrors, and us, for a good five minutes. I gave him ‘the look’ but surprisingly, it didn’t work (always worked on the kids though.) But how rude is that though? You’re not meant to take calls at the gym anyway, there are signs everywhere, but to come into a quiet studio where we’re spinning away quite happily just to chat to your mates, it’s a no from me.

 

7. People that park outside my house

 

Slightly irrational and OTT, but people parking outside my house has always annoyed me, and even though there is space for about five cars outside my house, and I only have one, I’m more annoyed living at this house than I’ve ever been before. Predominantly because most of the people that do it, already have driveways big enough to fit two cars on, and yet they choose to park outside my house! It doesn’t affect me in any way whatsoever, I’m well aware of that, but it annoys me nonetheless.

 

8. Queuing

 

Such a British thing to do and yet I’ve always hated it – ask my best friend. She’ll roll her eyes and say, ‘Yeah, Kate doesn’t do queues.’ I would literally rather not bother having/going to whatever/wherever it is than queue for something. Nothing in life is that important. However, I should point out that IF I were to queue, a rare occurrence, you must follow correct queuing etiquette or face my wrath.

 

9. Dog crap

 

I don’t own a dog (waaaaahh!!!) but if I did, I know I’ll bloody well pick up his crap so no-one else had to step in it. It amazes me how many lazy dog owners there are. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the idea of picking up a pile of hot, steaming, dog turd doesn’t really appeal, but I’ve wiped many a shitty arse in my time (childrens I should point out), so it can’t be worse than that.

 

10. Know-it-alls

 

We all know one or, in my case, bearing in mind I spend most of my life online, hundreds. But there is always one that stands out, that has to have the last word, that just has to say, “Erm, no, ACTUALLY, I think you’ll find blah blah blah.” Bore off mate.

 

11. How expensive cycling clothes are

 

At the risk of becoming a cycling bore (which would no doubt make your list), I thought I’d go online last night and look at how much it would cost to buy some cycling gear, as at the moment I look like the poor cousin who has to wear charity shop hand-me-downs (because I’m skint and I do) but JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH … some of that stuff is SO expensive! I’m talking over £120 for a thin, lycra jacket! I mean there’s no way I’d pay that, and I know there are cheaper versions I could find I’m sure, but how can you justify charging that?!

 

12. Nagging

 

I hate the sound of my own voice, so when I have to repeat something time and time again to get my point across, or get something done, it really winds me up. Take last night – bin night. Now Dexter doesn’t have to do many chores at home, I work from home and it’s just the two of us, but taking the bins out is his main chore. It’s the same every week, so it’s no surprise, and yet still … every time, I have to ask him time and time again to do it. “Yeah, in a minute.” Ignores me. “Dexter …” “IN A MINUTE!” … and then it becomes a massive deal. Why not just do it in the first place? You know you’re going to have to do it! *Sigh* … teenagers.

 

13. Mis-pronunciation of words

 

Granted, this may well make me sound like a know-it-all (ahem, point 10), but my man-friend and I often disagree about how to pronounce certain words. Bearing in mind he was a headmaster of an English school, and I’m an English graduate, well, suffice to say, we often chat shit about the English language (which I absolutely love!) However, it should be pointed out that it is ‘Narn’ bread, not ‘Nan’ bread … it is ‘You-sain’ Bolt, not ‘Oooh-sain’ and finally, it is ‘Wa-sar-bi’, not ‘Wa-sa-bi.’ Our conversations are riveting, I think you’ll agree, and I’m always right … something he’ll discover soon enough.

 

Right, I’m stopping at 13 because I was really about to go off on one about people that eat with their mouths open. Tell me lovely readers, what grinds your gears?

 

kate sutton

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