I’m back! I know I was only AWOL for a week, but it felt like much longer, at least for me. And also, after my mid-week panic-slash-woe-is-me-whinge about being a massive failure, and the blog post I then wrote, my head is also back in the game. Halle-bloody-lujah. So here’s this week’s healthy lifestyle update.
In the post, I was saying that after Easter, and with the new man situation going really well, I had lost my healthy eating/gym mojo and some very wise women, AKA you, my lovely readers, reminded me that a) I’m not a failure, b) I’ve lapsed, not relapsed, c) I should look at it as a test and a reminder of what I don’t want to go back to and finally, d) I’m only bloody human and I should give myself a break.
I know I can be somewhat dramatic. “NO!!!” I hear you say, but it’s true, and I honestly worried that all of a sudden (like overnight), I was going to undo all of my hard work and put this 4 stones back on. That is my constant, overriding worry because if you’ve always had food/weight issues, they don’t go overnight, and it’s a constant battle. Some days are easier than others, and I really have managed to get rid of a lot of (deliciously) filthy eating habits, but this last week was the first time I realised that if I don’t get a grip and nip whatever was happening in the bud, it’s a slippery slope for someone like me. I found myself eating crappy food quite easily and not really worrying about it too much … until I realised what was happening and stopped to write the post and address it.
(I like this picture I took today at the gym – I look like I have a steely determination in my eye!)
So … my new man friend has got his bike out the garage today (not a euphemism sadly), and even though I don’t think he read that post, I’m hoping it’s a sign he’s prepared to support me on my weight loss journey. Once he’s sorted, I can then pop the bike in the car and we can go cycling together (so cute I want to throw up!) Food is still, and will probably always be, an issue for me. I don’t binge eat, but I often make bad food choices, so I will continually try to address that. Christ, it’s bloody boring though. I wish I was one of those people that got a boner from just eating a sliver of ham with a rocket leaf for dinner, with a peeled grape for dessert. Alas, I’m not.
(Cycling everywhere again this week.)
The latter part of this week has been really positive. After I got all that stuff off my chest, I honestly felt reinvigorated, so thank you again to everyone who commented on that post, it really inspired me to not think of myself as an absolute loser. I went to the gym the next day, cycled there, and weighed myself – didn’t see any point in putting it off – and I have put on 1.5lbs. I was relieved if I’m honest, because it felt like a lot more. My weird phantom (but not so bloody phantom these days) period started and I stopped eating rubbish. Well, until I had a curry that night – but in my defence … no, there is no defence. We wanted curry for dinner so we had it. BUT I did make us walk there again, and he inconveniently lives at the top of a massive hill, so got up to 9,000 steps that day, didn’t go too mad with alcohol and, the biggie, I ONLY HAD ONE ONION BHAJI! Onion bhajis are my nemesis and as lovely as Slimming World Onion Bhajis are, I’d already cooked tea for Dexter that night, I’m not cooking twice!
(A tad hungover but this yellow top cheered me up!)
Saturday was quite a carby day in the morning (soaking up last night’s beer), and then I went to Nandos for lunch with the family as my gorgeous niece was home from Uni. I chose not to have chips or rice, but had grilled chicken breast (I took the skin off), with corn on the cob (no butter), a slice of Halloumi and a grain salad – which was actually more calorific than I realised, at 200 calories. I’d have rather had rice tbh. (Or chips covered in burger sauce if I’m being really honest.)
I went to the gym again today (Sunday) and had the best leg/bum/stomach workout I’ve had in ages. Tried deadlifts again today, which always make me nervous having suffered previously from a bad back, but I managed four sets of 45kg. I know I can lift more but it’s important to be cautious in this instance. Felt really invigorated and full of energy for the rest of the day, which was unfortunately interspersed with taking my BF to the hospital a couple of times, but it’s not life-threatening bless her.
And there we have it. A shit first half of the week, but I’ve managed to turn it around and end on a real high. I think what I’ve learnt this week, and if I may, I’d like to offer it to you as a bit of advice, is don’t bottle your feelings inside you. Whatever it is you’re dwelling on, whatever is causing you upset, or fear, or any other myriad of feelings we feel, either write it down or tell someone. I don’t know if my week would have ended so well if I hadn’t have written about how I was feeling, and I only do that because I don’t really have anyone at home to talk to, so please, get that stuff of your chest if you can.
Over and out for now – please do follow me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, and I’ll see you next week, and if you’re interested in learning more about the Thinking Slimmer download I listen to every night, you can find more information HERE.