A little dating update.  So, as you know, my last date wasn’t really a success – one of those ‘pleasant’ dates that’s easily forgettable.  To be honest, I’ve been so busy with the house move that I haven’t really put any effort into dating.

 

So today, I thought I’d do something I very rarely do – I messaged someone on a dating site.  Not such a big deal, but for me … can’t say I ever really do it.  But in the name of equality (and because I was in a good mood because I’d just had the most awesome scone), I did.

 

And my highly entertaining, unique message??  “Hi, how are you?”

 

I know, I know.  But in my defence, when you’re not even sure if someone’s going to bother to reply, why go to the effort of being my usual witty self?!  It really takes a lot of effort to be this amusing you know .  I kept it short and sweet.  If they’re not interested, I shan’t lose any sleep.

 

I would imagine this is pretty much the same thought process that men go through, hence the plethora of messages that just say “Hi” or “Hello.”  At least I asked him how he was!

 

Anyway, so I’ve sent the message, gone about my business (consisting of drinking coffee and buying cushions) … when I thought to check to see if I’d received a reply.

 

I had!

 

OK, what gem had he replied with?  It was lovely to hear from me?  A compliment on my hair perhaps?  How he’d noticed I was a writer or that we had a lot in common.  None of the above.  And I quote:

 

“Good.  Got 5 dates planned.”

 

Umm, well done?  I thought he was joking.  You know, as in … hang on, no he can’t have been joking.  I replied:

 

“Thanks for sharing!  Good for you!”

 

I then gave him no more thought – literally none, I had a KFC waiting.  Was what he said true?  I don’t care!  I should have known better – anyone that tags ’69’ onto their username should be avoided.

 

In the meantime, he replied with … a winky face (that’s ‘winky’) … and I lost the will to live a bit.  You see THIS is how hard it is to online date.  You might think I make this up … but I say it time and time again, I don’t.

 

After lunch I looked at his messages again and debated whether to reply or not.  I could have just let it go – he was just another bloke on another dating site.  But I couldn’t resist.  I told him it was a pretty dickish thing to say (my English degree really coming in handy there) and then pottered round BHS.  #livingthedream

 

He obviously couldn’t resist either and replied:

 

“You brooded on that for 90 minutes.  Why so bitter?  Was just stating a fact.”

 

There’s just so much to say about this one sentence.

 

Firstly, the fact he thought I gave him a whole 90 minutes of my time and energy trying to compose a suitable response is laughable and, quite frankly, rather narcissistic.

 

I may be bitter (you would be too if you had to deal with morons like this) but I don’t think it’s clouded my ability to spot a twat a mile off.

 

And lastly, he was just stating a fact.  But it’s like me replying to a dating message by saying “BHS have got 20% off” or “I’m not wearing matching socks today” or “I need a wee” or “Just listening to Justin Timberlake” or … well, you get my drift.

 

Facts are brilliant, don’t get me wrong, who doesn’t love a good fact to brighten up their day … but don’t tag an irrelevant, knob-esque comment onto the end of a message when a woman has plucked up the courage to just say hello.

 

So there you have it.  My one foray into dating in the last six weeks and this is what happens.  There’s a message there somewhere … and I don’t think it’s lost on me.

 

*STEER CLEAR OF ALL MEN KLAXON*

 

But you know me, I won’t let it put me off and give me a few weeks … and I might have another dabble .

 

There again, I might just never date again.

kate sutton

 

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