It is a week since I took up Just Single’s #3dates3mths dating challenge (3 dates in 3 months – only 1 can be from my online world) and I’m 1 challenge down already. (Go me.)
I’ll be honest, the idea of finding a date from The Real World scares the bejesus out of me so I took the easy (for me at least) option first and scoured the Just Singles website for my first victim date.
First impressions? It’s a new site and when you compare it to the more well known established sites it seemed a little … quiet. I’m used to being bombarded (OK, that’s a slight exaggeration) with messages, as are, I’d imagine, most women and well this site isn’t like that. It’s much more ‘laid back’. At least for now.
I had a good look round and the site layout is clear and easy to navigate. (As an aside, the ads at the top are a tad annoying.)
My date, B, stood out to me for several reasons:
a) his stubble
b) his stubble
c) he had a nice face … with stubble
As it turned out, he messaged me first and we began chatting. The flow of conversation is a little stilted on the site because I think everyone is just finding their feet and so they’re not on there a lot – plus the app is still in development and so there isn’t that option yet. Having said that, we progressed quickly to talking on the phone/texting and soon enough, he asked me out … *buffs nails* … what can I say?! I’d only been on there 3 days so I think that’s pretty good going.
I DIDN’T ADD A SOFT FOCUS FILTER … HONEST!
We met at my local ‘safety pub’ … the pub I take all my dates to. God only knows what the bar staff think! But it’s really important (especially for a woman) to feel safe on a first date – I always meet on my own territory and make sure I know where the exits are! (Not that I’ve had to use them. Yet.)
One thing that had particularly worried me about my date … he had refused to send me a selfie. I KNOW!!!! Who doesn’t love taking selfies?! I didn’t get a bad feeling about him, on the contrary, and I did try to explain that the whole selfie thing isn’t (just) for me to have something to letch over … it’s actually just so you can prove you are who you say you are. He was having none of it. But I took a risk and met him anyway.
Thankfully … it paid off – he was exactly who he said he was and we started to get to know each other.
Until, that is, I looked at the table behind him. Yeah … that’s just MY DAD HAVING DINNER WITH HIS LADY FRIEND!!!
Oh. My. God. This was unchartered territory! I never actually see anyone I know in The Safety Pub! I wasn’t sure if it would be better to point it out and have a laugh about it … but thought better and completely ignored it, hoping that my Dad hadn’t seen me. B, on the other hand, was wondering why the hell I kept looking over his shoulder!
Anyway, we had a nice evening. He was a nice guy. We had a nice conversation.
Can you see where I’m going with this? It was all rather … nice. Personally, I thought I gave great date … but I felt like I was performing monkey! “What’s your job like?” “Do you see your kids much?” “What’s your favourite film?” It was exhausting. It was like that time Rachel from Friends interviewed Hilde for the PA job and asked her afterwards if she gave good interview.
It wasn’t all one-sided though and there weren’t any awkward silences at all … but I think we both knew straight away that perhaps we just weren’t a right ‘fit’ for each other. I’m looking for someone a little ‘quirkier’ .. someone with a bit more chutzpah! And no doubt he’s looking for someone a little more on the down low!
I actually ended up cutting the evening quite short at 10pm … but I think 3 hours is more than long enough for a first date. He kindly dropped me home and when I went to kiss him goodnight, he was already offering me his cheek! I think my instincts were right!
He text me when he got home, then on and off for another couple of days but it was clear there was nothing in it. And you know what? That’s absolutely fine. Sometimes it’s just nice to have a nice drink with an intelligent man and put the world to rights for a few hours!
I think that officially means that my online dating part of this challenge is well and truly over … and dating IN THE REAL WORLD must now commence!
I still haven’t quite worked out what to do next. I have 2 months to have 2 more dates but the whole ‘me asking a man out thing’ is FREAKING me out! I know I’m getting my mojo back … and I’m confident that, should the opportunity arise, I might even have the courage to talk to a man.
Asking them out however, I just hope I’m ready for that too.