I’ll let you into a little secret. I’m a bit of a gobby cow.
But I like to think ‘gobby’ in the best sense of the word. Outgoing, confident, extrovert. A leeetle bit centre of attention-ish. But I do it all with a wry smile because honestly, I really don’t take myself that seriously.
Y’see … I’ve always been naturally confident which, considering I was always ‘the tall one,’ ‘the one with the big boobs,’ or … more often than not, ‘the big girl’ out of my circle of friends, it’s probably quite surprising I was like that.
I don’t class myself as a particular stunna … or really amazing at that much … but what I do have in abundance, is self-belief. Always have had. A strong belief that I may not be perfect, I may not be ‘all that’ but I’m fundamentally a good person and one day I will be successful.
Oh, and I’ve never really given a shit about what people think about me. That kinda goes a loooooooong way to being positive.
I have a sub-conscious mantra, particularly nowadays, that I find myself saying over and over again in my head. It’s to overcome that internal voice we all have that tells us we’re a bit shit. We all have it – it’s just louder in some peoples’ heads than others. My mantra doesn’t always work and I’m not talking about sitting cross-legged on the lounge floor, clanging mini cymbals … it’s just more of a positive affirmation type thing really.
Sometimes it’s a daily battle – and sometimes the ‘positive’ doesn’t always win.
Something I’ve found really sad amongst a lot of my female friends throughout the years, but particularly these days, is a lack of self-belief amongst a lot of them. The most gorgeous, intelligent, talented women just don’t get how fabulous they are. (You know who you are!!!)
What is it they don’t see that I see? Why do they not feel as amazing as they truly are?
I don’t particularly remember being told I was the greatest of all time whilst growing up – but I knew I was loved. On that deep, deep, deepest part of your soul level … loved. And that was enough for me.
I’ve never needed anyone to fill me up with words of adoration. Not then … and not now. I can do that myself.
But it’s awesome when it does happen and it’s something we really should be doing more of for each other. Until, at least, we can do it for ourselves.
I’m not big headed. I just think that if I can’t big myself up then I can’t expect anyone else to do it for me.